In April 1990, I was nominated for a twelve-week training programme in U.K. under the Colombo Plan. The course was to be held at Ilkely near Leeds, a small town with a population of about 20,000. However, it had all the amenities of a big town like good market, parks, schools, clubs, etc. The town was quite prosperous going by the number of cars. Overall it was a lovely place and life seemed quite comfortable. In the same course there was another officer from the Kerala cadre. He was a year junior to me. We became quite friendly very soon. During the first week, one day we were walking on the streets of Ilkley, appreciating its beauty and comforts. Spontaneously came from my friend, ‘How lucky they are!’ Though he was right yet his way of saying implied as if we were unlucky. So I kept silent thinking it to be the best way of responding. He felt little uneasy with my silence and wanted to know the reason. I said I would agree with him if he maintained his opinion till the end of the course. The matter ended there.
As days passed by, we became closer to each other. We had many things in common. We both were North Indians and vegetarians. We used to cook our dinner together. Soon we started learning about the weaker side of the so-called heavenly materialistic life of Western society. Our first experience was in the matter of food. Being vegetarian we found it very difficult to manage our food, particularly the lunch, which we had to take in the mess. The problem was on two counts. Firstly, very few vegetarian dishes were available and, secondly, they were so mixed up with non-vegetarian dishes that the sight of them repelled us. My own problem was compounded by my being diabetic. Our request to provide us something which we could eat without reservation brought no result. My case was referred to a dietician whose report didn’t come till the end of the course. As a result I had to stop taking lunch in the mess and managed on my own. At times we tried to draw the attention of the Course Director by appealing to his emotions but there was no effect. Every time some rule or management problem was made an excuse.
This set us thinking about our own society and the country. Howsoever poor we may be, we cannot see others going hungry, more so if they happen to be our guests. Nothing to say of human beings, even dumb animals are taken care of in our country. Most of us derive a great sense of pleasure from feeding others. I don’t think that if a foreign national in our land poses a genuine problem we would not do our best to help him, particularly in matters of food. But what we experienced in U.K. was just the opposite. For our Course Director, everything was commercial matter and genuine human need was no consideration. This made my friend doubt his opinion expressed in the beginning of the course.
In the course of our interaction with several natives, we learnt about many other strengths of our society. The first, of course, was that we are much better hosts. We take care of our guests even at the cost of our own convenience. Secondly, our family system is a matter of envy to them. It is difficult for them to imagine how a marital bond can last throughout one’s life. When we were to return at the end of the course to join our families, some native lightly remarked that as far as they were concerned, one could not be sure of finding his family intact after a gap of so much time. This could be an exaggeration but it definitely reflected the insecurity of their family system. Through another incident we learnt that doctors in U.K. do not attend to patients during weekends. Those who can be approached are very expensive. As a result, a patient has to wait till the next working day, irrespective of his problem. Similarly, meeting someone without an appointment is almost impossible. As a result the problem of loneliness is increasing causing many complications.
All this is not to suggest that nothing is good in Western society. There are plenty of things to be learnt from it. The idea is not to compare the two societies, but is to establish that it is wrong to pass a hasty value judgment on any society. Every society has its strengths and weaknesses. Also a strength from one point of view may be a weakness from another. Indian society has plenty of strengths but we are becoming unaware of them. On the other hand we try to adopt the weaknesses of other societies. This had made my friend to comment in the beginning. However, having observed things closely, he changed his remark from ‘How lucky they are!’ to ‘How lucky we are!’. My silence in the beginning was also understood by him.
