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Law of Priorities

Prioritising requires to continually think ahead, to know what’s important, to know what’s next, to see how everything relates to the over all vision. When we are busy, we naturally believe that we are achieving. But busyness does not equal to productivity. Activity is not necessarily accomplishment. What is Required?  What must I do that nobody can or should do for me? What gives the Greatest Return? Work in your areas of greatest strength. Is there something you’re doing that can be done quite well by someone else? If so, delegate it. What brings the Greatest Reward? Life is too short not to do something you love. What energises you and keeps you passionate?
What creates the effectiveness necessary for converting talent into results? It comes from the choices you make. Orator, attorney, and political leader William Jeannings Bryan said, “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” People who have passion but lacks priorities are like individuals who find themselves in a lonely cabin deep in the woods on a cold snowy night and then light a bunch of small candles and place them all around the room. On the other hand, people who possess priorities but no passion are like those who stack wood in the fire place of that same cold cabin but never light the fire. But people who have passion with priorities are like those who stack the wood, light fire, and enjoy the light and heat that it produces.
At a certain check post, an Octroi officer observed daily, a cyclist passing the check-post carrying grass for cattle. There was no tax levied on grass and the Octroi officer allowed the bundle of grass to pass. This continued every day for years. Only after retirement did the Octroi officer find a cycle shop near his place of work. To his surprise, he came to know that the cyclist, who used to carry grass, was the owner. Further enquiries revealed that the cyclist all along smuggled one cycle a day across the check-post under the pretext of carrying grass for his cattle. Today, people look for short cuts- to happiness, fame, wealth, and even to God.
The Octroi officer to his dismay found that during his tenure, he had only checked the bundle of grass, missing out on the essentials. Priorities are wrongly placed and essentials in life are forgotten or are replaced by trifles.
We chase the shadows and  miss the substance.

Awareness

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. (Thornton Wilder)
Learn the art of being aware, our success depends upon our power to perceive, to observe, and to know. Keen observation is a chief factor in the success of all great businessmen, executives, artists and military leaders. Men and women go about the world unaware of the beauty, the goodness, and the glories in it. A greater poverty than that caused by lack of money is the poverty of unawareness.
Helen Keller said, hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, the mighty strains of an orchestra, as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object you want to touch as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again. Make the most of every sense; glory in all the facets of pleasure and beauty which the world reveals to you through the several means of contact which nature provides. But of all the senses, sight must be the most delightful. As you open your awareness, life will improve of itself, you won’t even have to try.
Seven men went through a field, one after another. One was a  farmer, he saw only the grass; the next was an astronomer, he saw the horizon and the stars; the physician noticed  the standing water and suspected malaria; he was followed by a soldier, who glanced over the ground, found it easy to  hold, and saw in a moment how the troops could be disposed; then came the geologist, who noticed the boulders and the sandy soil; after him came the real-estate broker, who pondered how the  line of the house lots should run, where would be the drive-way, and the  stables. The poet admired the shadows cast by some trees, and still more the music of some thrushes and meadow lark.

Benefit

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long  so  regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell
Look at every situation as an opportunity and not a disgrace. Who knows what is going to unfold to us?  Often we condemn the opportunities and close the door, and closing it forever and kill it at the start itself. Be little patient and try to extract the best out of every opportunity that you get rather than killing it at the start. Try to learn something from everything that happens in life. Each event brings us a learning associated with it. If we are able to see it in the right perspective, we have gained something. Confront every situation with a question to yourself: what am I going to benefit/gain out of this? How does this particular event help me to enhance my personality and my life? So let us try to find something good and meaningful even in the worst of adversities which will make the life worth living and rejoicing. Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities, strong men make them.
Appu was travelling through the countryside in a hot afternoon, he had to walk a long distance to reach the next village. After walking for some time he got tired and felt very thirsty. There was neither a house nor a well nearby to quench his thirst. However, he thought of taking rest for a while which would temporarily give some kind of relief. Appu went and sat under huge tree. As he was tired and body was weak he started feeling drowsy and began to doze. After a while some kind of shrill noise woke him up from the nap. It was a crow chasing a squirrel and the latter was jumping from one branch to the another to save his life. Appu really cursed the creatures for disturbing the nap. As the squirrel was jumping it happened to land on a branch which was already heavy with ripened mangoes and a ripened   mango fell right in front of Appu. Tired and weary Appu grabbed the mango fruit and refreshed himself. Then he said to himself, “rather than blaming the situation I should learn to benefit from every situation and event without judging”.

Duty

Duty does not have to be dull. Love can make it beautiful and fill it with fire – Thomas Merton
To be honest, to be kind; to earn a little and to spend a little less; to make upon the whole a family happier for his presence; to renounce when that shall be necessary and not be embittered;  to keep a few friends, but those without capitulation; above all, on the same grim conditions to  keep friends with himself; here is a task for all that man has of fortitude and delicacy.
John Lubbock says, if there is doubt between two duties, take the nearest. Some worthy people neglect their family for the sake of the heathen, but duty like charity, should begin at home.
When Jawaharlal Nehru died, at his bedside in his own writing, were found the lines from Robert Frost: The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep.
When Marcus Aurelius, appointed the prefect of the Praetorium, he gave him a sword, saying, “You will use this sword to defend my life as long as I am faithful to my duty. But if I should fail in my duty, you will use it to punish me. And know my duty is to make the Romans happy.
There is no duty we underrate so much as the duty of being happy.

Planning

“When planning for a year, plant corn. When planning for a decade, plant trees. When planning for life, train and educate people.” -Chinese Proverb
Planning needs vision and foresight. Only a visionary can do perfect planning which requires experience and expertise. God has designed everything in such a way that the whole   universe lives in unity and harmony. But we find imperfection in His designs because we want to customise it for our convenience. Imagine how meticulously God has planned the creation and left it for regeneration by itself.
We can only plan for non-living things and not living things. That is the difference between our planning and God’s planning. Because living things have life and life is the essence of God.  A mango tree produces mangoes of different shapes. If we were to do it we would have got the same type of products from the same machines. Planning is of vital importance when it comes to achievement of a goal. Even if one has an excellent goal, timely planning and implementation is necessary to achieve   the goal.
Appu was taking a visit in his field in the hot afternoon. After walking for sometime he got tired and thought of resting a while. He sat under a gooseberry tree looking at the pumpkin wines over the field. He said to himself: “How foolish God is! Here He outs a great heavy pumpkin on the tiny wine without strength to do anything but lie on the ground. And He puts a tiny gooseberry on huge gooseberry tree whose branches could hold the weight of a man. If I were God, I could do better than that.” Just then  a breeze came and a gooseberry fell exactly on Appu’s head. Appu rubbed his head, and suddenly became sad and wise. “Suppose,” he mulled to himself “there had been a pumpkin up there, instead of gooseberry? Never again I will try to plan the world for God.”

Zeal

All true zeal for God is zeal also for love, mercy and goodness- R.E. Thompson
To bear up under loss; to fight the bitterness of defeat and the weakness of grief; to be victor over anger; to smile when tears are close; to resist disease and evil men and base instincts; to hate hate, and to love love; to go on when it would seem good to die; to look up with unquenchable faith in something ever more about to be — that is what any man can do, and be great. G.K. Chesterton says the contentment is real, even an active, virtue–not only affirmative but creative. It is the power of getting out of any situation all there is in it. The effective person is seen as being able to commit himself to projects, investing time and energy and being willing to take up appropriate economic, psychological and physical risks. He is seen as being able to think in different and original, that is, creative ways. Finally, able to control impulses and produce appropriate responses to frustration, hostility and ambiguity.
Fire is the chosen symbol of heaven for moral passion. God is love, God is fire. The two are one. Spirit-filled souls are ablaze for God. They love with a love that glows. They believe with a faith that kindles. They serve with a devotion that consumes. They rejoice with a joy that radiates. Love is perfected in the fire of God. The purpose of life is not to be happy-but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all. What is a plan? A plan is a method of action, procedure, or arrangement. It is a programme to be done. It is a design to carry into effect an idea, a thought, a project, or a development. Therefore, a plan is a concrete means to help you fulfil your desires.
Thomas Carlyle once received a letter from a young man which read like this, “Mr. Carlyle, I wish to be a teacher. Will you tell me the secret of successful teaching?”
Carlyle immediately wrote back “Be what you would have your pupils be. All other teaching is unblessed mockery.”
“Someone ought to do it, but why should I? Someone ought to do it, so why not I? Between these two sentences lie whole centuries of moral evolution” – Annie Besant.
“Zeal is very blind, or badly regulated, when it encroaches upon the rights of others” – Quesnel

Thoughts

“Change your thoughts, and you change your world.”- Norman Vincent Peale
Thoughts manifest the reality outside.  Your each action is the externalisation of the internal thoughts. If you don’t think, there is no action outside. Descartes says, “I think, therefore I am.” The very existence of a human being is because of thinking. Thought comes first, then action. A thought is not an accident. People who undergo a miserable life experience miserable thoughts. The moment they are able to change such miserable thoughts into happy thoughts, transformation happens internally and externally. Thus, researchers declare that we are the makers of our own destiny. If we are able to empower positive thoughts in our mind, undoubtedly the external reality will change. It has to change.
It is said, “People see what they want to see; people hear what they want to hear; people experience what they want to experience.” So try to reprogram your thoughts by being aware of them at every moment. Let your thoughts be natural, expressing the genuine desire of the heart which is the pure centre and source of everything.
There once, was a bunch of tiny frogs… who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach  the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer the contestants…. The race began… Honestly, no-one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. They heard statements such as: “They will never make it”, “The tower is too high” “It is too difficult” etc. The tiny frogs began collapsing one by one. At the end the tiny frog after a big effort reached the top. A contestant asked the tiny frog, how could make it.  I never listened to the comments of the people, I thought of the power and strength I have.
Be Positive in your Thoughts and Actions.

Inter-Connectedness

“I think what makes us human—is our interconnectedness among people. It’s our ability to form and maintain relationships. It’s the barometer by which we call ourselves human.”- Thomas Jane
Life is a chain of events –Life is an inter-connected whole. It starts from womb and ends in the tomb. Each event is inter-connected to the previous one. It is like a movie—each scene is related to the previous and gives birth to the future.  Your tomorrow is born out of the present. It is said that when you are happy the world around you seems happy and when you are sad the world around you too looks gloomy and sad. So the first step in building a happy world is to lay the foundation stone within you. Then you experience the world as a rainbow of colours in all facets of life. Life is a chain. Wherever you go whatever you do—you will remain part of the inter-connected chain of life.
An American soldier wounded by the Japanese owes his life to the Japanese scientist Kitasato, who isolated the germ of tetanus. A Russian soldier is saved by a blood transfusion, which came from an Austrian. A German soldier is shielded from typhoid with the help of the Russian. A Dutch marine in the East Indies is protected from malaria because of the experiments by an Italian. A British flier in North Africa escapes death from surgical infection because of a French man, Pasteur, and a German called Koch and their work with bacteria. Need knows no language or language barriers. Or as someone put it: “We are all brothers and sisters under the skin.”
“Each form of life supports all others, together they weave the grand web of life. Thus there really is no happiness for oneself alone, no suffering that afflicts only others.’’- Daisaku Ikeda

The Power Of Recognition

A too common mistake, especially among leaders, is failure to share recognition and show appreciation to others. J C Staehle did an analysis of workers in America and found that the number one cause of dissatisfaction among employees was their superior’s failure to give them credit. It’s difficult for people to follow someone who doesn’t appreciate them for who they are and what they do. As former secretary of defence and World Bank President Robert McNamara said, “Brains are like hearts—they go where they are appreciated.”
Recognition is greatly appreciated by everyone, not just people in business and industry. Even a little bit of recognition can go an incredibly long way in a person’s life. Everyone is hungry for appreciation and recognition, only the degree varies. Remember people’s names and take time to show them you care and give others recognition at every opportunity.
Travelling during his term as vice President of the United States of America, Thomas Jefferson requested a room at Baltimore’s principal hotel. The vice president was travelling alone incognito, without secretary or attendants; it had been a long trip and it showed in his clothes and appearance.  The proprietor, not recognising his distinguished guest, refused him room. After Mr. Jefferson left, the proprietor learned that he had just turned away from his establishment the vice president of United States! The horrified proprietor immediately sent his subordinates out to find Mr. Jefferson and offer him whatever accommodation he wished. Mr. Jefferson had meanwhile taken a room in a small inn not   far from the principal hotel. He sent the subordinate back to their proprietor with this message: “Tell your master I value his good intentions highly, but   if he has no room for a dirty farmer, he shall have none for this vice president!”
Those of us who have had the privilege of hearing the Lord’s words of wisdom at the Final judgement as reported in the Gospels should shudder at the prospect of we being told, “As long as you did it not the least of my brethren, you did it not to me!”
How often in our lives we have a tendency to look at people whom we consider ‘unimportant’ and can –be-ignored-types’, and do not have a desire to come to their aid. If we behave thus, neither will the only One who matters find any substance in our lives!

Concentration

“For he who has no tranquillity  there  is no concentration.” –Bhagavad Gita
Pre-occupation is the greatest or biggest enemy to concentration. Often people ask; why am I not able to concentrate? Or why can’t I just do it? It is simply because we don’t give serious reflection about ourselves. For most of us worldly worries and daily problems are bigger and they are immersed in it. We have to concentrate on one problem and exclude everything else – so much so that we almost become unmindful of the rest of the world. We are preoccupied with many other activities that we forget what is our priority.
We start doing things without awareness and focus. We get entangled and engaged in numerous activities that we have no time to go deeper into our own self. The only problem that we are concentrating upon is our world. However, remember that if you cannot focus or concentrate, then all through your life you face the same daily problems. It is important to be strong internally and then face the world without fear. Sort out the internal issue and experience the bliss and joy of every day and every moment.
Once a Zen master summoned four of his disciples and said, “It is time for you to go to the mountains and sit in silence for at least seven days, and then come back.”
They went with the vow to sit   there for seven days, in absolute silence. After just few minutes the   first disciples said, “I wonder whether I have locked my house or not.”  The second disciple said, “You fool! We have come here to be   silent and you have spoken!” The third disciple said, “You are a great fool! What has it to do with you? If he spoke, at least YOU could have kept silent!” The fourth disciple said, “Thank God, I am the only one who has not spoken yet!”

Prompt Action

Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow. Prompt action is important in life and that leads people to succeed in life. Opportunity waits for none. If you don’t take a decision at the appropriate time later on you will have regrets. Timely action is like a rupee saved. Because a rupee saved is a rupee earned. Prompt action requires awareness and vision. It is not a blind decision, instead a calculated, well thought and mature decision. Each time you delay your action you are lagging behind and when you take timely action you travel hundred miles ahead of future, sowing seed of better opportunities. If you don’t utilise the opportunity then there is someone else to take  your opportunity somewhere in the world.
Why delay your decision? Be quick and act timely. So no regret can haunt you. Life is possible only out of decisiveness, commitment and involvement. If not, you are always a spectator- you never participate in anything. Decide for yourself whether you want to be spectator or a doer?
A pretty young woman approached Immanuel Kant and asked, “I would be immensely happy if you could accept me as your wife.” He listened to her and he said, “I will think it over.” And he thought for three years- all the pros and cons. He wrote long treatise- what are the advantages and disadvantages of being married. And finally he arrived at a poor conclusion—almost not a conclusion at all. There was one more point in favour, and that was the point that by being married you will know what marriage is-good or bad. So he went, knocked on the woman’s door. The father opened the door and asked, “Why have you come?” He said, “I have decided, because one more point is in favour of marriage. There are three hundred points in all: three hundred against, three hundred and one for- so I have decided to marry.”The father laughed. He said, “It is too late. She is already married- and not only married, she has a child too! You came a little late.”

Confidence

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” Peter T. Mcintyre
When we chase things they elude us. When we are confident and ready to face the reality of life, it comes to us. Because we are not bothered or shaken by it. When you are strong like a rock nothing will shake you. So be firm in whatever you do and leave the rest of your life to God and let Him control it. Being strong and confident in life as well as in whatever you do is a sign of success. Most of us are weaklings who have no guts to face reality. Our confidence starts shaking as we get closer to reality. We only speak and when it comes to the real test get away faster than the speed of lightening.  Certainly you must have come across a number of such characters in your life! What is your reaction to them? Are you comfortable with such characters? Now let us check- am I also such a character? Do I run away from the realities of life? Am I ready to take the responsibilities and challenges of life? It is always better to be confident and face problems than hide like a coward. The option is left to you!
Some of us have a good case of the “can’ts” too. Stop being bitter,  “I can’t!” One of the devil’s greatest tools is to try  and   erect a stronghold in our minds to make us think we can’t do something, God has told us to do. Do not give the devil a foothold. Stay true to yourself! Be faithful to the talents you are blessed with. Be positive in your attitude. Indeed you Can do many things that you think you Can’t! You CAN!
A mad solider came in to the village cutting down men, women and children, and terrifying everyone .Arriving at the doors of a Zen monastery, he smashed down the door with the hilt of his sword. Striding up to the Master who was sitting in ZAZEN, he raised his sword and was just about to kill him, when something of the Master’s stillness touched him. And angrily he shouted, “Don’t you realise that standing in front of you is a man who can cut you in two without the blink of an eye!”
The Master quietly said, “Don’t YOU realise that sitting in front of you is a man who can be cut in two without the blink of an eye? So go ahead. Don’t be restricted by my silence, do whatsoever you have decided to do.” These words of the Zen Master transformed him. He surrendered his sword at the feet of the great Master and became a disciple.
“If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.”-  Jesse Jackson

Generosity

Indian poet Rabindranath Tagore wrote, “All that is not given is lost.”
Nothing speaks to others more loudly or serves them better than generosity from a leader. True generosity isn’t an occasional event. It  comes  from the heart and permeates every aspect of a leader’s life, touching his time, money, talents, and possessions. Effective leaders, the kind that people want to follow, don’t gather things just for themselves; they do it in order to give to others. .Cultivate the quality of generosity in your life.
Give something away. Find out what kind of hold your possessions have on you. Take something you truly value, think of someone you care about who could benefit, and give it to the person. Genuine charity does not evaluate an action by its bigness or smallness. It evaluates it as an act of love, an act that makes us discover the greatest good: God Himself!
Put your money to work. If you know someone with the vision to do something really great- something that will positively impact the lives of others-provide resources for the person to accomplish it. Give generously and you will receive much from your giving. Give a smile to everyone you meet and you’ll receive smiles. Give kind word and you will receive kind words. Give appreciation and you will be appreciated. Give time for a worthy cause and you will be richly rewarded. Give hope and you will be made hopeful. Give happiness and you will be happy. Give encouragement and you will be encouraged. Give prayers and you will receive blessings.
When an earthquake happened in China, a farmer was standing on a hilltop surrounded by his rice fields. Suddenly he saw the ocean rush away from the shore like some large animal crouching for a leap. He saw his neighbours working in the low rice fields, and when that tidal wave came back, they would be swept away by its force. Somehow he had to call them to the safety of his hill. So without thinking twice, he set fire to his straw stack furiously rang the temple bell. His farmer neighbours thought his farm was on fire and rushed up the hill to help him. They had  hardly   reached the top, when they heard and saw the swirling wall of water swish through the field they had just left. Then it was that they realised how the farmer had saved their lives. From that day on, they went to the temple to pray for their neighbour to whose generosity they owed their lives.
God in his generosity really loves us, cares for us, heals us and watches over us.

Respect

Respect is a gesture of deep reverence, gratitude and gratefulness to the Creator. When we respect our fellow beings we are in fact respecting God himself because each of us is a part of God. Every culture has different gestures expressing respect and reverence for a deity or to human beings.
Respect is the acceptance of the other as they are. So respect should start from the heart and not to be an external show. If it is a show, then it becomes an imitation and pretence. Respect human beings- respect their individuality, respect their differences. And that is possible only if you respect your own individuality. Great people are respected anywhere without demand. Rich people are respected for their money power and influence. In our context people living in the lower strata are not respected. So they need to be respected and made comfortable. Being friendly and hospitable to such people always imprints a feeling in them that they too are part of the system and they are wanted in the society. Everyone likes to be respected and likes to get importance. It is the game of the ego.
One day a kind visited the Zen master. The Zen master did not even get up when he saw the King coming. The King felt very strange and surprised. However the King asked, “Which is higher, a worldly king, or the king of dharma? The Zen master replied, “Among human kings I am higher; among the kings of dharma I am also higher.” Hearing this surprising answer, the king was very pleased.
The next day a general came to  visit the Zen master, who not only got up from his seat when he saw the general coming, but also showed him more hospitality in every way than he had shown to  the king. After the general had left, one of the disciples asked him, “Why did you get up from your seat when a person of lower rank came to see you, yet you did not do so for one of the highest rank? The Zen master replied, “You don’t understand. When people of the highest rank come to see me, I do not get up from my seat; when they are medium quality, I do; but when they are of the lowest quality, I go outside of the gate to receive them.”

Providence

Providence is the care God takes of all existing things- St. John of Damascus
The well of Providence is deep. It’s the buckets we bring to it that are small. We may rest assured that nothing whatever happens on earth without God’s permission. What a source of consolation to know that even the sufferings and adversities which God send us are for our very best, and have in view  our eternal salvation. Do not look forward to what might happen tomorrow; the same Everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of your tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. Praise Him therefore, whether in His gifts or in His scourges. The praise of the scourges is the medicine for the wound.
God sends us nothing that is too hard or painful to bear. He proportions all to our strength and abilities. Our trials are suited to our needs as the glove to the hand of the wearer. All things will contribute to our sanctification if we but cooperate with the designs of Divine Providence. The farewell address of Abraham Lincoln upon leaving Springfield, for the White House, contains this touching testimony to his trust in God. “I now  leave, not knowing when, or whether ever, I may return, with a task before me greater than that which rested upon Washington. Without the assistance of that Divine Being who ever attended him I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail. To his   care commending you, I bid you an affectionate farewell.”
The great St. Teresa of Avila, who did big things with small means, once wanted to build a large orphanage. She had only three shillings to start with. Some friends told her that she should be more wise and wait for more funds before beginning the construction. This is the answer Teresa gave: “With three shillings Teresa can do nothing, but with God and three shillings there is nothing that Teresa cannot do.”
Please, dear God, do not bless us as we deserve, we couldn’t along on so little.

Simplicity

Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought– Hazlitt
Simplicity is nothing but an act of love, pure and simple, with one aim to acquire the love of God. Our soul is truly simple when we have no other goal than this in mind, in everything we do. The function of simplicity is to lead us directly to God without heeding human respect or our own interests. It makes us speak frankly and from the heart; it makes us act with sincerity, without hypocrisy and pretence; and finally it keeps us far from every sort of double dealing. All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single word; freedom, justice, honour, duty, mercy and hope. The only simplicity that matters is the simplicity of the heart. If that be gone, it can be brought back by no turnips of cellular clothing; but only by tears and terror and the fires that are not quenched.
To become childlike or simple:
Uncomplicate your life, be open and honest. Don’t be afraid to admit, “I can’t do that” or I don’t know.” Don’t hide your feelings or be afraid to show affection. Delight in simple things. Enjoy being you. Know who you are, what you can do and what is expected of you.  Don’t hold grudges; let the past be past. Whatever happens, do not shed simplicity. To judge from our good books, one might suppose that God tests his saints as a blacksmith does a bar of iron, to try its strength.
William Pit, the great Prime Minister, had as a friend a Scotsman called Dundas. He had grown to depend on Dundas very greatly. He said of Dundas; “Dundas is no orator, not even a speaker, but Dundas will go out with you in any kind of weather.” Dundas had none of the showy qualities, but he had something greater— you could depend on him hail, rain or shine.
Simplicity is the badge of distinction.

Commitment

“Commitment is the enemy of resistance, for it is the serious promise to press on, to get up, no matter how many times you are knocked down”. D. McNally
How important is commitment to you? Are you someone who values loyalty and follow-through? When things get tough, are you in the habit of standing firm? Is your dedication undeniable? To improve your level of commitment, tie your commitments to your values. Because your values and your ability to fulfill your commitments are closely related, take some time to reflect on them. First, make a list of your personal and professional commitments. Then try to articulate your core values. Once you have both the lists, compare them. You will probably find that you have commitments unrelated to your values. Re-evaluate them.
The world has never seen a great leader who lacked commitment. If you want to be an effective leader, you have to be committed. Being committed involves risk. True commitment inspires and attracts people. It shows them that you have conviction. They will believe in you only if you believe in your cause .People buy in to the leader, then the vision. Commitment starts in the Heart. If you want to make a difference in other people’s lives as a leader, look into your heart to see if you’re really committed. Commitment is tested by action: It’s one thing to talk about commitment. The only real measure of commitment is action. Arthur Gordon acknowledged, “Nothing is easier than saying words. Nothing is harder than living them day after day.” Commitment Opens the Door to achievement: As a leader, you will face plenty of obstacles and opposition- if you don’t already.   Be of good cheer. Do not think of today’s failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere; and you will find joy in overcoming obstacles. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost.  And there will be times when commitment is the only thing that carries you forward.

PEACE

Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.  When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other says Mother Teresa. Order and beauty go together. The fair flower of peace does not grow among the weeds of an ill-regulated life. The radiance of a deep inner serenity is the product of disciplining both in the heart and in outward affairs. He who is united with the divine will, enjoys even in this life, a perpetual peace.
Every leader in the world aims to find a lasting solution to the problems that beset our planet, but so far, peace on earth has continued to be an elusive dream. There are many movements, organisations and fraternities all over the world that promotes the idea of world peace. Why is the world peace so difficult to achieve? Perhaps the answer lies within our self. What have we done to make the world a better place to live in? How have we treated our brothers and sisters and our neighbour? Fulton J Sheen gives psychological suggestion for acquiring peace of soul. Never brag, never talk about yourself, never rush to first seats… never use people for your own advantage, never lord like a symphony orchestra. God is the conductor. When nations turn to Him for direction, there is harmony; but when they turn away, then there is confusion and strife.” it over others as if you were better than they.
Is it possible to achieve world peace? When we start doing good to other people, we can inspire others to do the same. By carrying the good deeds forward, we can multiply the number of people we touch with our goodwill and eventually it will spread and infect others. We cannot expect peace in the world unless we give that in our heart we are prepared to sacrifice. In this holy season of Advent Jesus the Prince of peace is promising us his lasting peace. May we empty ourselves of our complacent attitude and all that destroys our peace to experience this lasting peace promised by the Lord.
Madam Galli-Curci, the famous singer, made this observation, “The world is like a symphony orchestra. God is the conductor. When nations turn to Him for direction, there is harmony; but when they turn away, then there is confusion and strife.”

Relationship

All Feel better and do better when you give them attention, affirmation and appreciation. The nest time you make contact with people, begin by giving them your undivided attention, affirm them and show your appreciation for them in some way. Then watch what happens. You will be surprised by how positively they respond. To build relationship, begin by listening to people’s life stories, their journey so far. Your genuine interest in them will mean a lot to them. Try to learn as much as you can about the people and do your best to win their hearts. Your relationships will define you. And they will influence your talent-one way or the other. Choose wisely. If you want to add value to people, you have to value them first.
We need to focus on finding people’s strengths and pointing them out. Most people have strengths that they rarely get to use. Those strengths may be job skills, knowledge, general abilities, personality characteristics, or other attributes. If you want to influence others, do not try to impress them. The people with charisma, those who attract others to themselves, are individuals who focus on others, not themselves. If you boil relationships down to the most important element, it’s always going to be trust- not leadership, value, partnership, or anything else.
When it comes to relationships, yourself image restricts your ability to build healthy relationships. A negative self image will even keep a person from being successful. Take an interest in people, this may sound too simple, but it really all starts here. You have to show people that you care about them by taking an interest in them. If you’re not a people person, that may be the first step you need to take. Look for value in every person.
Psychologist and New York Times best-selling author Phil McGraw state, “I always say that the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You’ve got to be your own best friend first.”In 1937 the granddaddy of all people-skills books was published. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling more than fifteen million copies. That book was How to win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. What made this book so valuable was his understanding of human nature. His simple wisdom was to remember and use a person’s name. We should be aware of the magic contained in a name. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will wok magic as we deal with others. Remembering names can help enhance your personal image, improve your style, and most importantly, increase your impact on others.
Are we prepared for relationships?  Are we willing to focus on others? Can we create a win-win relationship?

Friendship

Friendship is mutual goodwill and love of two persons who accept each other in a profound manner in view of reciprocal growth. “To be friend is to be yourself for another person,” said the Scottish philosopher John Mac Murray. In friendship, one shares one’s inner most thoughts and feelings with the other. Friendship is a loving commitment of two or more persons. It begins when two or more individuals discover that they have something in common. So friendship is an open, trusting, abiding and reciprocal relationship of affection often based on common interests.
Friendship is one of the greatest gifts human being can receive. It promotes care, concern and understanding. It also helps us grow in self-knowledge. In friendship, we discover not only our friends but increasingly more about our own selves. Friends motivate us to expand our outlook on life. They challenge us to grow in our ability to trust. It guarantees happiness and joy in the midst of the worst tribulations. Friends help us experience love and mutual acceptance. Friendship involves presence-both physical presence and presence of mind. It requires perseverance because it is a never-ending, ever-growing relationship.
 The book of Sirach 6:10 and 14 says a faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, and those who fear the Lord will find one. The faithful friend is a secure refuge; whoever has found one has found a treasure. Jesus shared himself with his friends saying, “I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father”(Jn 15:15) Jesus also had special friends, like Lazarus, Martha and Mary. Among the disciples too Jesus has special friends like Peter, James and John. The friendship of Jesus was based on purity of intention. He did not expect anything in return from his friends except their love and loyalty. In times of trial and tribulation, Jesus was present to support them. He proved the depth of his friendship by giving up his own life for his friends. Look at the list of Jesus’ friends. They were mainly from the lower strata of society who would not be able to repay him for the good he had done them. A friend is one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.

Determination

If you can take it, you can make it. If you can take unjust criticism and insults without losing your temper, you can make it. If you can make sacrifice and self-denial without complaining, you can make it. “There is one virtue, “wrote George Sand, “the eternal sacrifice of self.” If you can take self-discipline without getting discouraged, you can make it. Ponder these words of William Penn: “No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown,” If you can take reverses, adversity and disappointments without giving up, you can make it.
Pat Seed, a woman in her fifties, was told a few years ago that she had cancer and only six months to live. Instead of resigning herself to her situation, she immediately embarked on a fund-raising campaign to buy for the Christie Hospital Manchester a sophisticated scanner for the early detection of cancer. She worked so hard at this that she scarcely had time to think about anything else, including her own terminal illness. She not only outlived her six months; today, six years later, she has raised more than three million pounds for the life-saving equipment. She has been presented with an MBE by the Queen at Buckingham Palace, and she has been declared entirely free from cancer. Moreover, over 5000 patients have now been scanned by the equipment bought through her fund-raising, and probably many lives saved. She reacted positively to her situation she was able to change it radically.
All big personalities are dreamers. They see things in the soft of  a  spring day or in the red fire of a long winter’s evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others like Pat Seed  nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.
Whatever the mind can conceive, dream and determine, it can achieve.

Positive Attitude

Allow yourself to dwell only on the positive and not the negative.
English heart surgeon Martyn Lioyd-Jones asserted, “Most unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself rather than talking to yourself.” What kind of voice do you hear?  If you are hearing negative messages, you need to learn to give yourself positive mental pep talks. The best way to retain your attitude is to prevent your mind from going down any negative forks on the road. Your attitude dictates and controls your life, influencing how you see and interact with the surrounding world. Further, it is not what happens to you that affects you but how you respond to what happens to you. Thus the critical difference lies in your attitude towards life.
Feed yourself the right “food.” If you’ve been starved of anything positive, then you need to start feeding yourself a regular diet of motivational material. Our attitude determine what  we see and how we handle our feelings. These two factors greatly determine our success. Your attitude covers every aspect of your life. It is like the mind’s paintbrush. It can paint everything in bright vibrant colours- creating a masterpiece. Or it can make everything dark and dreary. Attitude is so pervasive and important that some people come to think of it as the librarian of your past, speaker of your present and the prophet of your future. There is not a single part of your current life that is not affected by your attitude.
The apostle Paul is a great example of someone with a marvellous attitude. Through all of his trials, God had been right there by his side. But never once did he blame God for his misfortune. Instead, listen to the positive attitude in Paul’s words as he was imprisoned for preaching the gospel, “I  want you to know, beloved, that what has happened to me has actually helped to spread the gospel.” No moaning, no complaining. Just a marvellous attitude that brought joy to his life. May it serve as an example to us in our daily living!

Integrity

Bill Graham said, “Integrity is the glue that holds our way of life together. We must constantly strive to keep our integrity intact.” Integrity is not a given factor in everyone’s life. It is a result of self discipline, inner trust, and a decision to relentlessly honest in all situations in our lives. Unfortunately in today’s world, strength of character is a rare commodity. As a result, we have few contemporary models of integrity. Our culture has produced few enduring heroes, few models of virtue. We have become a nation of imitators, but there are few leaders worth imitating. The meaning of integrity has been eroded.
Integrity is not  what  we do so much as who we are. And who we are, in turn, determines what we do. Our system of values is so much a part of us we cannot separate it from ourselves. I t becomes the navigating system that guided us. It establishes priorities in our lives and judges what we will accept or reject. We are all faced with conflicting desires. We struggle daily with situations that demand decisions between what we want to do and what we ought to do. Integrity establishes the ground rules for resolving these tensions. Integrity binds our person together and fosters a spirit of contentment within us. It will not allow our lips to violate our hearts. When integrity is the referee, we will be consistent; our beliefs will be mirrored by our conduct. Integrity commits itself to  character  over personal gain, to  people over things, to  service over power, to  principle over convenience, to  the long view over the immediate.
Philip Brooks maintained, “Character is made in the small moments of our lives.” Any time you break a moral principle, you create a small crack in the foundation of your integrity. Developing and maintaining integrity require constant attention. Josh Weston, chairman and CEO of Automatic Data Processing, Inc.., says, “I’ve  always tried to  live with the following simple rule: Don’t do what you wouldn’t feel comfortable reading about in the newspapers the next day.” That’s a good standard all of us should keep.

Holiness

Holiness consists not in doing uncommon things, but in doing all common things with an uncommon fervour.  A saint is one who  makes  goodness attractive. The serene  beauty  of a holy life is the most powerful influence in the world next to power of God. The creed of the true saint is to make the most of life, and to make the best of it. Sanctity is made up of little things, little virtues and actions. Buddha says just as candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life. The spirit dwells in all men; but not all men are aware of this. Happy is the life of him who knows this, and unhappy his life who does not know it.
A martyr, a saint, is always made by the design of God, for his love of men, to warn them, to bring them back to his ways. A martyrdom  is never the design of man; for the true martyr is he who has become the instrument of God, who has lost his will in the will of God. A saint is someone who makes it easier to believe in God. A saint is someone who lets the light shine through. Spiritual power is the force which history clearly teaches has been the greatest force in the development of man.  Material things do not bring happiness, and are of little use in making people creative and powerful. A saintly person lives with radiance because his spirit is rooted in God’s spirit. A saint is a person who has quit worrying about himself because his life is centred on God. With Jakob  Bohme  he says, “Though my head and my hand be at labour, yet doth my heart dwell in God.” A saint feel that every person– regardless of colour, race, creed, or nation—is a person in whom lie the possibilities of becoming a saint. With Robert Southwell he says,  “Not where I breathe but where I love, I  live.”He desires to use the results of prayer and devotion to better the world. The beauty of holiness has done more, and will do more, to regenerate the world and bring in everlasting righteousness than all other agencies put together.
Napolieon 1 was passing by a statue of Saint Francis of Assisi paid respect to the saint by taking off his hat reverently. One of the Generals, who boasted of being a free-thinker, asked why  he  paid such respect to a monk. The emperor replied, “Because that ‘monk’ subdued an army larger than mine and, without guns or cannon, ruled an empire far greater than mine.”

Self-Reliance

Every man must carry his own sack to the mill.
Three men are my friends—he that loves me, he that hates me and he that is indifferent to  me. Who loves me, teaches  me  tenderness; who hates me, teaches caution; who is indifferent teaches me self-reliance. Love for oneself is the foundation of a brotherly society and personal peace of mind. We need to  insist on the necessity  of a proper self-regard as a prerequisite  of the good and moral life .Man must be first restored to  himself, that, making in himself as it were a stepping stone, he may rise thence and be borne up to  God. Cure yourself of the inclination to  bother  about how you look to other people. Be concerned only with the idea God has of  you.
Tagore says, with begging and scrambling we find very little, but with being true to  ourselves  we find great deal more than we desire. Learning how to  be  strong, intelligent and balanced; how to  resist fatigue, how to  avoid making oneself detestable to  others is no less essential than eating, sleeping, studying at school or working in the office, farm or factory. Strength of numbers is the delight of the timid. The valiant of spirit glory in fighting alone. Be you one or many, this valour is the only true valour, all else is false. And the valour of the spirit cannot be achieved without Sacrifice, Determination, Faith and Humility. Self-help is the capacity to  stand  on one’s legs without anybody’s help. This does not mean indifference to  or rejection of outside help, but it means the capacity to  be at peace with oneself, to  preserve one’s self-respect, when outside help is not forthcoming or is refused.
In his childhood Alexander the Great  visited  the study of an Athenian sculptor and found it full of little gods. He particularly  liked  one with covered face and winged feet.
“What ‘s  his name?”
“Opportunity”
“Why is his face covered?”
“Because men live so haphazardly that they rarely see it when it passes in front of them.”

Obedience

The greatest good for man is to  become   conformable to  the will of God.
Obedience is the virtue that grants one willingness to  submit   to  lawful authority. When one obeys, one is “hearing” and one is accepting the authority. One is only obedient as one is humble, and can never be humble if one is not obedient. For obedience to  be   entire: it must be evident in three things: in its performance, in the will and  in the judgments. It is  evident   in the performance when the superior’s orders are carried out. It is evident in the will when nothing is willed but what he wills. It is evident in the judgment when his opinion is the one held. The virtue of obedience is an exalted virtue, eminently reasonable; it is not the least servile or blind, but requires on the contrary the greatest freedom of spirit and the strongest discernment.
We realise that we must practice the virtue of obedience in the  natural order: in the family milieu as children subject to  parents, in the education environment as students subject to  teachers, in the business world  as employees subject to  employers, and in the civil society as citizens subject to  legitimate laws and leaders. Obedience arises out of a fundamental relationship in a community. It is a complex human act. It  recognises   authority as well as responds to  that authority. It includes a mandate and also a compliance. The quality of the response of obedience may vary widely, depending on the receptivity of the respondent. Some obey out of duty, some out of force; some soberly after reflection, some recklessly out of thoughtlessness; some out of anger,  and  some out of love.
In 1855,  a  young girl, Farnier, who was lame, went to  ARS to  ask a miracle from  John Marie Vianney.
“My daughter,” replied the saint, “ you disobey too often your mother and answer her back. If you want the Lord to  heal   you, you must correct your defects. And remember, you will get well but little by little according to  your effort to  correct your defects.”
She returned to  her village and as she improved her ways her leg became normal.

Prudence

It is a foolish bird that defiles it own nest.
Prudence is the knowledge of what is to be sought and avoided. Prudence is a virtue of maturity. It grasps the meaning and direction of life and accordingly, leads to the full realisation of the human potential. A prudent person profits from personal experience, a wise one from the experience of others. Prudence exercises a certain degree of caution, but it does not prevent one from acting spontaneously or from taking risks. Prudence prevents one from being carried away by sudden emotions and impulses which would lead to harmful self-expression. However formed by past experiences, prudence is able to project the likelihood of success in special forms of self-activation. A soul without watchfulness is like a city without walls, exposed to the inroads of all its enemies.
It is great wisdom not to be rash in our doings, nor to maintain too obstinately our own opinion. Can a man control his future?  What we do today determines how the world shall go, for tomorrow is made up of the sum total of today’s experiences. No one knows what the formula is, nor how slight a change may reshape the pattern to our heart’s desire. Far from feeling hopeless or helpless, we must seize every opportunity, however small, to help the world around us toward peace, productivity and human brotherhood. Do not diminish your strength and talents by imprudence or neglect. Strive rather to develop these in yourself with good educational methods.
The Persian poet Saadi went to a rich man for a loan of money.
“How is it,” Mocked the rich man, “that the wise knock at the door of the rich, while the rich never knock at the door of the wise?”
“It is very simple,” answered the poet, “The wise know the path to wealth, but the rich do not know the path to wisdom.”
Never neglect the opportunity of keeping your mouth shut.

Suffering

One ounce of patient suffering is worth far more than a pound of action.
The greatest mystery of life is that satisfaction is felt not by those who take and make demands but by those who give and make sacrifices. In them alone the energy of life does not fail, and this is precisely what is meant by creativity. There are three ways that prepare us for life’s trials. One is the Spartan way that says, “I have strength within me to do it, I am the captain of my soul. With courage and will that is mine, I will be the master when the struggle comes.”Another way is in the spirit of Socrates, who affirmed that we have minds, reason and judgment to evaluate   and help us to cope with the enigmas and struggles of life.
The Christian way is the third approach. It doesn’t exclude the first two, but it adds, “You don’t begin with yourself, your will, or your reason. You begin with God, who is the beginning and the end. When your strength grows weak and your reason fails you, faith in the Creator gives you the power to  overcome all things” .We have in life many troubles, and troubles are of many kinds.  Following are the Seven Mischievous Misses who are responsible for most of our troubles. Miss Information, Miss Quotation, Miss Representation, Miss Interpretation, Miss Construction Miss Conception, and Miss Understanding.
A legend says that a man found his cross too heavy and beyond his strength. He prayed to  the   Lord to  relieve him of it. The Lord, after much prayers, agreed, led the man to  a large room where there were many crosses, and invited him to  choose one less heavy. He went several times round the room but could not find a cross that could please him: One was too heavy, another too light, a third too small. Finally he picked up one somewhat satisfactory.
“Do you like it?” asked the Lord.
“Yes, it seems more fitting than all the crosses I tried”.
Then the Lord said, “Well, that was the cross you yourself laid down when you entered the room.”

Self-Control

No one can be saved without self-knowledge.( St. Bernard  of Clairvaux)
Self-discipline is always rewarded by a strength which brings an inexpressible, silent inner joy which becomes the dominant tone of life. Great is the security of the heart when a person has no worldly desires. Because if the heart longs for the attainment of earthly things, it cannot enjoy security and peace, for it is either wishing to  possess what it has not or is afraid to  lose what it has. Keep a watchful eye over yourself as if you were your own enemy; for you cannot learn to govern yourself, unless you first learn to govern your own passions and obey the dictates of your conscience.
Nobody’s life is smooth and easy. Everybody has ups and downs. We’ve got to expect that. And, since we should expect it we should also be ready for it, prepared for it. Then, when it happens we accept it naturally, as a challenge, as a measure of the stuff of which we are made. Indeed, we may even be eager to try ourselves out, to discover how capable we really are. Our maker gave us two hands. One to hold to him, the other to our fellow man. If our hands are full of—or struggling for- possessions, we can hold in neither God nor humanity. If, however, we hold fast to him, loving spirit will flow through us and out to our neighbour. That is the way to joy, love, achievement and inner peace. So, get busy on yourself. You are the one person for whom you are entirely responsible. Your world, your life can be better only if you make it so. As you improve yourself, you influence all others around you. Keep in mind that you came into this life with a purpose to perform.
A disciple came to   Sufi with a purse containing five hundred gold pieces.
“Have you any more money than this? asked the Sufi.
“Yes, I have”.
“Do you desire more?”
“Yes, I do”.
“Then you keep it, for you are more in need than I; for I have nothing and I desire nothing. You have a great deal and still want more.”

Maturity

The characteristic of the mature person is that he affirms life – H O Overstreet
Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort, defeat, without complaint or collapse. Maturity is the ability to control   anger and settle differences without violence or destruction.  Maturity is perseverance, ability to sweat out a project or a situation in spite odd opposition and setbacks. Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. Maturity is the art of living in peace with oneself- with what we cannot change and courage to change that which should be changed and wisdom to know the difference. Maturity is dependability, keeping one’s head high in times of crisis.
A mature person is one who is able to control his impulses. A mature person never feel too great to do the little things and never too proud to do the humble things. He keeps himself alert in mind and is too big to be little .He is not afraid to make mistakes. Maturation of personality is a process of repeated giving up, relinquishing, rejecting of what has been painfully learned, in order to establish a new and replacing pattern, a new role, or to establish a new relationship more appropriate to  enlarging capacities, experiences and opportunities.
Visitor: “How old are you Sunny?”
Boy: “That’s   hard to say, sir. According to my latest school tests I have psychological age of eleven and moral age of ten. Anatomically I’m seven, mentally I’m nine. But I suppose you refer to my chronological age. That’s eight but nobody pays any attention to that these days.”
Men come to their meridian at various periods of their lives. Card. Newman

Wisdom

Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience – George Bernard Sha
Wisdom is the power to put our time and our knowledge to proper use. Scholars are a dime, a dozen, but a man of wisdom is a rare bird. Wisdom is the foundation, and justice the work without which a foundation cannot stand. Knowledge is horizontal. Wisdom is vertical- it comes down from above. There can be no wisdom disjoined from goodness. The first task of a man aspiring to wisdom is the consideration of what he himself is: what is within him, what without, what below, what above, what opposite, what before, and what after. In the face of Divine Wisdom, all that we have, or do, or know, is a gift of God, and is only an insignificant molehill compared to His fountain of knowledge. St. Augustine says, let your old age be childlike, and your childhood like old age; that is, so that neither may your wisdom be with pride, nor your humility without wisdom.
According to Plato Wisdom has four parts:
Wisdom, is the principle of doing things right.
Justice: the principle of doing things equally in public and private.
Fortitude:  the principle of not fleeting danger, but meeting
Temperance: the principle of subduing desires and living moderately.
One day, King Philip of Spain called his son to a private room in the palace. There, on a table were the sword of the King and the crown of the King. His royal majesty asked the prince to choose which of the two he wanted. The young man chose the crown.
Then his royal father said, “No, son, first take the sword in defence of your country and win the war, otherwise your enemies will wear the crown.”
A wise man does first what a fool does last.

Good Manners

Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.
Good manners are the blossom of good sense and good feeling. If the law of kindness be written in the heart, it will lead to hat disinterestedness in both great and little things- that desire to oblige, and that attention to the gratification of others, which are the foundation of good manners. Whatever expands the affections, or enlarges the sphere of our sympathies-whatever makes us feel our relation to  the universe and all that it inherits in time and in eternity, and to  the great and beneficent cause of all, must unquestionably refine our nature and elevate us in the scale of being. Manners are like the cipher or zero in arithmetic; they may not be much in themselves, but they are capable of adding a great deal to the value of everything else.
Manners are the ornament of action and there is a way of speaking a kind word, or doing a kind thing, which greatly enhances its value. What seems to be done with a grudge, or as an act of condescension, is scarcely accepted as a favour. Manners are of more important than laws. The law touches us but here and there, and now and then. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in .Manners is everything with some people, and something with everybody.
One day when famine had brought great misery in Russia, a beggar, weak, all but starved to death, asked for alms. Tolstoy searched his pockets for a coin but discovered that he was without as much as a copper piece.
Taking the beggar’s worn hand between his own, he said “Do not be angry with me my brother, I have nothing with me”. The thin lined face of the beggar became illumined as from some inner light, and he whispered in reply: “But you called me brother—that was a great gift”.
Good manners are the small coin of virtue.

Love Knows no Limit

Love is the child of freedom, never that of domination- Erich Fromm
Love gives itself, it is not bought. Brotherly love for all human beings; it is characterised by its very lack off exclusiveness. If I have developed the capacity for love, then I cannot help loving my brothers. In brotherly love there is the experience of union with all men; of human solidarity; of human atonement. Brotherly love is based on the experience that we all are one. The differences in talents, intelligence and knowledge are negligible in comparison with the identity of the human core common to all men. Love is always building up. It puts some line of beauty on every life it touches. It gives new hope to discouraged ones, new strength to those who are weak, new joys to those who are sorrowing. It makes life seem more worthwhile to everyone into whose eyes it looks. All true love is grounded on esteem. The heart of him who truly loves is a paradise on earth; he has God in himself, for God is love. From the fact that one knows, and because one loves, one desires to possess that which one loves. And this is a sign of true love, that he who loves, transforms not a part of himself merely, but his whole being in to the beloved.
All loves should be stepping stones to the love of God. A spark of pure love is more precious before God, more useful for the soul and more rich in benedictions. Love consists not in feeling great things, but in having great detachment and in suffering for the Beloved. Love and concern have no limits; Love and concern have no relatives; Love and concern embrace all, and in a special way, those who suffer, those who have no one to assist and those who are abandoned.
There is a story being told about two poor lovers. The girl had a lovely golden hair and that was the best thing she had. The boy had a lovely wrist watch, but without a strap. Both loved each other very much. On valentine’s day, they wanted to give a gift to each other, but they had no money. Somehow they managed to buy gifts and presented them each other. When the boy opened the gift, he was thrilled to find a lovely strap for his wristwatch. When the girl opened her gift, she found a golden hair band. But the tragedy was that she had no hair, for she had cut and sold her beautiful golden hair to buy the strap which her lover needed, and he, on his part had sold his strapless watch in order to buy the golden hair band. Each offered something wonderful for the other.
Love has no meaning if it isn’t shared. Love has to be put in to action. You have tom love without expectation, to do something for love itself, not for what you may receive,” reminds Mother Teresa of Kolkata.
“We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.” Goethe

Virtue

A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.
Our life is too short, but to expand that span to vast eternity is virtue’s work. Vice stings us even in our pleasures, but virtue consoles us even in our pains. Remember that when you’re in the right you can afford to keep your temper and that when you’re in the wrong you can’t afford to lose it. Humility is to the virtues what the chain is to the rosary, remove the chain, and all the beads escape: take away humility, and all the virtues disappear. This journey through life can be pleasant and rewarding experience if we have the right attitude…
A good attitude is like cork-it can hold you up. A poor attitude is like lead-it can sink you. The virtue of a man ought to be measured not by his extraordinary exertions, but by his every-day conduct. Every virtue gives a man a degree of facility in some kind; honesty gives a man a good report; justice, estimation; prudence, respect; courtesy and liberty, affection; temperance gives health; fortitude, a quiet mind, not to  be moved by any adversity. The shortest and surest way to live with honour in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice and experience of them. As St. Francis de Sales tells us, virtue means simply a Special Effort. Being virtuous does not, then, means keeping your eyes raised to the rainbow while you walk towards where it ends, and hoping to find a spiritual crock of gold as eternal reward.
                                  Heaven is not reached at a single bound;
                                  But we build the ladder by which we rise
                                  From the lowly earth to the vaulted skies,
                                  And we mount to its summit round by round.
When Agesilaus the Great was asked: “How is it that Sparta is not surrounded by walls?” He replied: “What makes a city strong is not timber and stone, but its citizen’s virtues.”

Humility

Humility is the mother of many virtues because from it obedience, fear, patience, meekness and modesty are born. He who is humble easily obeys everyone, fears to offend anyone, is at peace with everyone, is kind with all, he lives happy, contented and in great peace. Humility does not consist in hiding our talents and virtues, but in possessing a clear knowledge of all that is lacking in us and acknowledging all the gifts God has given us freely. There are two types of humility: the humility of the intellect and the humility of the heart. Humility of the intellect consists in thinking lowly of ourselves; and humility of the heart consists in desiring to be despised by others, and in taking pleasure in contempt.
One of the best ways to acquire humility is to fix the following maxim in our mind: One is worth what he is worth in the eyes of God. There is no penance more effective than patience, no happiness equal than joyfulness, no disease more killing than lust, no virtue richer than humility. In humility and confidence, we have to go forward without pause. Humility is our left foot, confidence is our right. Let us use both of them to walk properly. Basic humility is the attitude of one who stands constantly under the judgment of God. It is the attitude of one who is like the soil. The fertile soil is there, unnoticed, taken for granted, always there to be trodden upon. It is silent, dark, inconspicuous and yet it is ready to revive any seed, ready to give it substance and life.
Novelist Somerset Maugham carried with him an old and cracked cup aboard a small cargo ship during his escape from war-torn France in 1940. The ship was crowded, the weather hot and water was rationed. For years afterward he would point to the old cup and tell his friends. “That was what held my daily allowance of water.” “Whenever I feel myself getting a bit stuffy,” he would add, “and inclined to take the comfortable places I stay in and the good food I eat for granted, I fill my cup at the tap and drink it—slowly, brings me back to earth again in quite hurry.”
The clothing of humility never goes out of style.

Prayer

A soul without prayer is a soul without a home.
Pray where you are. God is present everywhere and ready to  listen. Pray to God simply and naturally, as to a friend. Tell him what is in your mind. Pray remembering the good things God has done for you. Pray for others, remembering the situations they confront and the help they need. Pray for the world in its need, asking God to bring better things and offering your plan to help him. Pray above everything else that God’s Will may be done in you and in the world.
We hear in these days of scientific enlightenment a great deal of discussion about the efficacy of prayer. Many reasons are given why we should not pray. Others give reasons why we should pray. Very little is said of the reason we do pray. The reason is simple. We pray because we cannot help praying. Ravenhill says the self sufficient do not pray, the self-satisfied will not pray, the self-righteous cannot pray. No man is greater than his prayer life. That prayer has great power which a person makes with all his might. It makes a sour heart sweet, a sad heart merry, a poor heart rich, a foolish heart wise, a timid heart brave, a sick heart well, a blind heart full of sight, a cold heart ardent. Begin your day with prayer and make it so soulful that it may remain with you until the evening. Close the day with prayer so that you may have a peaceful night free from nightmares.
While journeying on the horse back one day, St.Bernard met a farmer walking along the road.
“You’ve got an easy job,” said the farmer. ”Why don’t I become a man of prayer? Then I too would be travelling on the horseback.”
“You think praying is easy,” replied the saint. “If you can say one Our Father without any distraction, you can have this horse.”
“It is a bargain.” said the farmer. Closing his eyes and folding his hands he began to say the Our Father……….      Suddenly he stopped and looked up
“Shall I get the saddle and bridle too?”
A lot of kneeling keeps you in good standing with God.

Successful Communication

It is the goodness of God breaking forth into a desire to communicate with the cause and the beginning of creation- William Law
A world community can exist only with world communication, which means something more than extensive short wave facilities scattered about the Globe. It means common understanding, a common tradition, common ideas, and common ideals The swift advance of the means of communication tears down the barriers that time and space have created between people. One of the greatest accomplishments a man can attain is the power to put into words exactly what he means. That’s one of the highest marks of an educated man.
A good speaker leaves the listeners more informed and a little better off than they would be if he has kept quiet. Abraham Lincoln said, “I am never more embarrassed than when I have nothing to say”. Speaking for personal recognition is wasteful, speaking to provide a service to others is honourable. The best advice here is to have something to say and know what you’re saying, or keep quiet. Effective communication is important in the business world and it is equally important within personal relationship as well. Open communication fosters trust, trust increases ownership and ownership increases participation. Enunciate your words distinctly and accurately. Cultivate a pleasant quality of voice. Be simple, direct and sincere. Use the best language at your command. Cultivate honesty in your expression. At the moment of speaking do not try to dress up your thought in fine language. Action speaks louder than words.
“Brother Leo said,” said Francis of Assisi “Let us go into the town and preach”.
They went forth together, wandering up and down the principal streets. They smiled as they walked along and talked happily with one another. Sometimes they would pat a ragged boy and speak a cheery word to others. “Father,” said the young monk, “when do we start to preach?”
‘Why, my son,” said Francis, “We have been preaching. We have been seen.  Our behaviour has been marked. There is no use walking anywhere to preach unless we preach as we walk.”

Tolerance – A Rare Virtue

It is difficult for the tolerant to tolerate the intolerant
Tolerance is the positive and cordial effort to understand another’s beliefs, practices, and habits without necessarily sharing or accepting them. Respect and love ought to be extended also to those who think or act differently than we do in social, political and even religious matters. In fact, the more deeply we come to understand their ways of thinking through much courtesy and love, the more easily will we be able to enter this dialogue with them.
If you do not like me because I am ignorant, I can be sent to school and educated. If you do not like me because I am dirty, I can be taught to wash and be clean. If you do not like me because of my social habits, I can be taught how to live in society. But if you do not like me because of the colour of my skin, I can only refer you to the God who made me. (A Negro priest)
I need to look at my  life  and  see how tolerant  am I in my family, workplace and in facing the  daily realities?
Tolerance of evil is a dangerous error for no one is free to behave just as he pleases.
While Pope Benedict XV was giving his blessing from the Vatican balcony, a fanatic drew a pistol aimed at the Pope, and pulled the trigger. The gun failed to go off. Guards seized and imprisoned the criminal. Brought before the Pope the gunman was regretful that the gun had failed to fire.
The unruffled Pope said, “I tell you why your gun failed. You were in the crowd and I had blessed you also, my son. Return to your home; your wife and children must surely have heard of this and are worried”.
The most impressive evidence of tolerance is a golden wedding anniversary.

Leadership is Empowerment

If you head up any kind of minimisation- a business, club, church or family- learning to empower others is one of the most important things you’ll ever do as its leader. Empowerment has in incredibly high return. It not only helps the individuals you raise up by making them more confident, energetic, and productive, but it also has the ability to improve your life, give you additional freedom, and promote the growth of your minimisation. A leader is great, not because of his or her power, but because of his or her ability to empower others. Success without a successor is failure. A worker’s main responsibility is developing others to do the work. Loyalty to the leader reaches its peak when the follower has personally grown through the mentorship of the leader. As you empower others, you will find that most aspects of your life will change for better. We need leaders who empower people and create other leaders. The attitude of the leader, coupled with a positive atmosphere in the minimisation can encourage people to accomplish great things. And consistent accomplishments generates momentum.
According to  noted  medical missionary Albert Schweitzer, “Example is not the main things in influencing others …… it is the only thing”. Part of creating an appealing climate to grow potential leaders is modelling leadership. People emulate what they see modelled. Positive model – positive response. Negative model – negative response. As Lee Lacocca suggests, “The speed of the boss is the speed of the team”. A leader cannot demand of others what he does not demand of himself. Most good leaders want the perspective of people they trust. Good leaders want the truth-even if it hurts. The ultimate leader is one   who is willing to develop people to the point that they eventually surpass him or her in knowledge and ability. Leaders push boundaries.  They desire to find a better way. They want to make improvements. They like to see progress. Leadership is really a game of intangibles. What could be more intangible than influence? Leaders deal with things like morale, motivation, momentum, emotions, attitudes, atmosphere and timing.  How do you measure things before you do something? It’s all very intuitive. Leaders have to become comfortable- more than that, confident-dealing with people.

True Happiness

Happiness depends upon what you give, not what you can receive”. Gandhiji
Happiness is one of the most sought-after goals in life. Of course all of us want to be happy and there are many ways to be happy in life. Happiness is a choice. Simple things make us happy and bring harmony. Sharing what you have can make a difference. You can give somebody enjoyment by sharing your abilities and time. Indeed, the joy of giving is one of the finest way to be happy.  Happiness is a feeling of inner peace and satisfaction. Mother Teresa found happiness in serving the blind, orphans, disabled and aged people. World believed that she was an extremely happy person. Florence Nightingale found happiness in nursing the wounded soldiers. So if you want to be happy, make others happy. The truth is that the source of real happiness is in one’s own inner self and not in the outside world.
About ninety percent of the things in our lives are right and about ten percent are wrong. If we want to be happy all we have to do is to concentrate on the ninety percent that are right and ignore the ten percent that are wrong.
During the days when India was divided into numerous kingdoms, a king visited the kingdom of another king. When he travelled through the kingdom, he found that there was peace everywhere and the people appeared to be living in happiness. The visiting king enquired about the reasons for this excellent situation. The host replied, “This is because of my four reliable guards”. The visitor asked who are these guards? “My first guard is Truth. Everybody in my kingdom speaks the truth and they are reliable. The second guard is Justice. Everybody therefore feels satisfied. My third guard is Non-attachment. My people are not attached to their wealth or possessions; hence they are not greedy. The fourth guard is Love. I love my people and they love one another. This promotes fellow feeling, mutual trust and happiness.
No self centred person and no ungrateful soul can ever be happy, much less make anyone else happy. Life is giving, not getting. Happy are they who cultivate the habit of seeing best in others, who takes no pleasure in telling evil things, but in forgetting them; who magnify all that is excellent and overcome evil with good. When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back. When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully. When there is darkness, dare to be the first to show a light. When love hurts you, dare to love again….. this will  bring true happiness.

Humour

A sense of humour is the lubricant of life’s machinery.
Humour is the salt of personality. Its’ presence is an evidence of good nature, of an appreciation of real values of life, and of the lack of tenseness that characterises some people. It is the most effective means of easing a difficult situation. Here it is important to differentiate between wit and humour: wit is of mind and humour is of the heart. Learn to laugh. And most of all learn to laugh at yourself. Honest good humour is the oil and wine of merry meeting and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
The essence of humour is that it should be unexpected, that it should embody an element of surprise, that it should startle us out of the responsible gravity which, after all, must be our habitual frame of mind. God made both tears and laughter, and both for kind purposes; for as laughter enables mirth and surprise to breathe freely, so tears enable sorrow vent itself patiently. Cheerfulness is the great lubricant of the wheels of life. It lightens labour, diminishes difficulties, and mitigates misfortunes. Cheerfulness gives a creative power which pessimism never possesses. A sunny, hopeful, optimistic disposition sweetens life, lightens its’ inevitable drudgery, and eases the jolts along the road.
“Common sense and a sense of humour are the same things, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing”.
One searching test of character is: can you take an insult without taking offence? When someone called George Bernard Shaw an ass, far from taking offence, he took it as a compliment. He pointed out the qualities we associate with the humble donkey: modesty, hard work, contentment with plain food and under estimation by the public. No one could be offended by having such qualities ascribed to him.
Humour is the harmony of the heart.

Life is a Voyage

Life is an exciting business and most exciting when it is lived for others.  Helen Keller
Life is not a having and getting, but a being and a becoming. Life is fruitful in the ratio in which it is laid out in noble action or patient perseverance. Life is a journey, not a home; a road, not a city of habitation; and the enjoyments and blessings we have are but little inns on the roadside of life, where we may be refreshed for a moment that we may with new strength press on to the end, to the rest that remaineth for the people of God. It is not for man to trifle; life is brief. We have no time to sport away the hours; all must be earnest in a world like ours. Life is currently described in one of four ways: a journey, a battle, a pilgrimage, or a race.  For life is a journey, it must be completed, if life is a battle, it must be finished. If life is a pilgrimage, it must be concluded. And if life is a race, it must be won.
A life spent worthily should be measured by deeds, not by years. Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain.  An occasional glance toward the summit keeps the goal in mind but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point. Climb slowly, steadily; enjoying each passing moment; and the view from the summit will serve as a fitting climax for the journey. The art of living successfully consists of being able to hold two opposite ideas in tension at the same time; first to make long-term plans as if we were going to live forever, and second, to conduct ourselves daily as if we were going to die tomorrow.
If you have known how to compose your life, you have accomplished great deal more than the man who knows how to compose a book. Have you been able to take your stride? You have done more than the man who has taken cities and empires. The great glorious masterpiece of man is to live to the point. All other things—to reign, to hoard, to build—are, at most, but inconsiderate props and appendages.
Your life is a book. The title page is your name; the preface is your introduction to the world. The pages are a daily record of your efforts, trials, pleasures, discouragements. Your life is what you make it. Your life can be simple if you will set it up with simplicity as a goal. It will take courage to cut away from the thousand and one hindrances that make life complex, but it can be done.
Life is like a mirror: we get the best results when we smile at it.

Why Worry?

“Worry is the interest  paid on trouble before it becomes due” – William R Inge
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. Worry and trust cannot live in the same house. When worry is allowed to come in one door, trust walk out the other door, and worry stays until trust is invited in again, whereupon worry walks out. If we were to keep a record of all the things we worried about during a given period of time, we would discover, in reviewing them, that the great majority of our anticipated problems or troubles never come to pass. This means that most of the time we devote to worrying, even the constructive kind that prompts us to try to come up with a solution to what is troubling us, is wasted.
A doctor who had many patients that were in the large income brackets made a study on why they worried so much. Here is what they found. 40% of their worries were about things that never happened, 30% were about matters entirely beyond their control, 12% were related to the physical ills which were caused or increased by their emotional attitudes, 10% were about friends or relatives who were quite able to look after themselves. Only 8% were about matters that really needed their attention- but worry even in these cases was not remedy to apply.
Once, shortly before a major concert before a standing-room-only audience, a member of Arturo Toscanini’s orchestra approached the great Italian conductor with an expression of sheer terror on his face. “Maestro,” the musician fretted, “my instrument is not working properly. I cannot reach the note of E-flat. What will I do? We are to begin in a few moments”.
Toscanini looked at the man with utter amazement. Then he smiled kindly and placed an arm around his shoulders. “My friend”, the maestro replied, “Do not worry about it. The note E-flat does not appear anywhere in the music that you will be playing this evening”.
The next time we find ourselves in the middle of worrying about some matter, we might be wise to stop and ask ourselves what the odds are of the problem really coming to pass. We may be able to go on to something more constructive.
Worry can’t change the past, but it can ruin the present.

Perseverance Pays

“Consider the postage stamp, its usefulness consists in sticking to one thing till it gets there.”                         -Josh Billings
To get through the hardest journey we need to take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping. Because there is occasional low spells of despondence, don’t despair. The sun has a sinking spell every night, but it rises again all right the next morning. A ship has no need of oars when the wind swells the sails, for then the wind gives it sufficient power easily to navigate the salt sea of passions. But when the wind dies and the ship stops, it has to be set in motion by oars or by a towboat.
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who is the best known in the end of the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least failed while daring greatly; so that his face shall never be with  those cold and timid souls who know neither defeat nor victory. There are but two roads that lead to an important goal and to the doing of great things: strength and perseverance. Strength is the lot of but a few privileged men; but austere perseverance, harsh and continuous, may be employed by the smallest of us and rarely fails of its purpose, for its silent power grows irresistibly greater with time.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “Press On” has solved and always will solve the problems of human race.
 King Robert Bruce of Scotland was pursued after defeat in battle, and hid himself in a lonely cave. He tried o plan his future course of action, but was tempted to despair. He had lost heart and had decided to give up, when spider caught his eye, the insect was carefully and painfully making its way up a slender thread to its web in the corner above. The king watched as it made several unsuccessful attempts, and thought, as it fell back to the bottom again and again, how it typified his own efforts. Then at last the spider made it! The king took courage from the spider’s success and persevered. The example of the spider brought its reward.
Energy and perseverance conquer everything.

Importance of Vision

Vision is everything for a leader. It is utterly indispensable. Why?  Because vision  leads the leader. It paints the target. It sparks and fuels the fire within, and draws him forward. An important part of leadership involves casting vision. Some leaders forget to  cast  vision because they get caught up in managing. True leaders recognise the  difference between leaders and managers. Managers are maintainers, tending to   rely on systems and controls. Leaders are innovators and creators who rely on people. An effective vision provides guidance. It gives direction for anminimiszation. True direction for anminimiszation is born with a vision. It begins when the leader accepts it. It gains acceptance when the leader models it. And it become reality when the people respond to  it.
All effective leaders have a vision of what they must accomplish. That vision becomes the energy behind every effort and the force that pushes through all problems. Where does vision come from?  Vision starts within.  Nobody can accomplish great things alone. To  fulfil  a big vision, you need a good team. A truly valuable vision must have God in it. Make sure your vision contains all that  will  help you to  reach  your potential. What you see is what you can be. People do what they see. That is the greatest motivational principle in the world.
Stanford Research says that 89% of what we learn is visual, 10% of what we learn is auditory, and 1% of what we learn is through our senses.  Each person look  at  life with a different vision. Three persons can look at a tree. One will see so many board feet of valuable timber worth so much money. The second  one  will see it as so much of fire wood to  be burned to  keep one’s family warm in the winter. The third will see it as a masterpiece of God’s creative art, given to  people  as an expression of God’s love and enduring strength .What we live for determines what we see in life and gives clearer focus to  our inner vision.
Where the vision is one year, cultivate flowers.
Where the vision is ten years, cultivate trees.
Where the vision is eternity, cultivate people.

Is Our Choice Freedom ?

All our freedom personal, economic, social, political-freedom to buy, to work, to hire, to bargain, to save, to vote, to worship, to gather in a convention or join in mutual association, all these freedoms are a single bundle. Each is indispensable part of a single whole. Destruction of any, inevitably leads to the destruction of all  – D. D. Eisenhower
Freedom therefore is inwardness, spontaneity, the capacity of a man to find within himself the reasons and the motives of his own right decisions and actions, apart from external coercion. Freedom therefore is authenticity, truthfulness, fidelity  to the pursuit of truth and to the truth when found. It requires greater courage to inner freedom, to move on in one’s inward journey into new realms, than to stand defiantly for outer freedom. Liberty is the way, and the only way to perfectability. Without liberty heavy industry can be perfected, but not justice and truth.
In the 14th century, two brothers fought for the right to rule over a dukedom in Belgium. The elder brother’s name was Rayanald, but he was called ‘Crassus’ a Latin nickname meaning ‘fat’ for he was horribly obese. After a heated battle, Raynald’s younger brother Edward led a successful revolt against him assumed the title of Duke over his lands. But instead of killing Raynald, Edward devised  curious  imprisonment. He had a room built around ‘Crassus’ a room with only one door. The door was not locked, the windows were not barred, and Edward promised Raynald he could regain his land and his title any time he wanted to. All he would have to do was to simply leave the room where he was imprisoned.
The obstacle to freedom was not in the doors or the windows, but with Raynald himself. Being grossly overweight, he could not fit through the door, even though it was of near normal size. All Raynald needed to do was to diet, come down to a smaller size, then walk out a free man, with all he had before his fall. However his brother kept sending him an assortment of tasty foods, and Raynald’s desire to be free never won out over his desire to eat.  When Duke Edward was accused of  being  cruel to his older brother he would simply reply, “My brother is not  a prisoner. He may leave whenever he wants to”. But Raynald stayed in that room for ten years, until Edward himself was killed in a battle.
                  Personal liberty is the paramount essential to human dignity and human happiness  –   Burton

Be Optimistic

Give your mind positive thoughts to chew on but keep them realistic. You can control your thoughts, and your thoughts control your life – Dora Albert.
‘Optimism is believing in favourable events and visualising nice things ahead irrespective of adverse circumstances’. Thinking only of the best, working only for the best, expect only the best and manifest the best of yourself. Do not worry about the unknown; it’s as likely to be good or bad. Never lose your hope, even if you lose all else. The key to optimism is to maximise your successes and minimise your failures. Optimist always have better health, wealth and career opportunities in life. Act and feel cheerful. Being always joyful and euphoric is the fastest way to be optimistic. Optimist has  positive attitudes, focuses on solutions, dwells on strengths and thinks about achieving prosperity.
There are some ants called ‘bridge makers’ who show wonderful intelligence. In order to ford a river they link themselves together into a continuous chain ever so light. Nothing contributes more to cheerfulness than the habit of looking at the bright side of things. The good side is God’s side of them. The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces, ‘look underfoot’. You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think. The great opportunity is where you are.
Some parents were at their wit’s end over their twin boys – one an eternal optimist, the other a hopeless pessimist. Finally they went to a psychiatrist who devised what he thought would be a sure-fire remedy. The doctor placed the optimist in a room filled with manure and told him to dig, figuring this would cure him of his joyful nature. He put the pessimist in a room filled with toys and told him to play. This was bound to cheer the sad-faced boy.
But when the doctor returned with the parents some hours later, he was flabbergasted at the results. The little pessimist was bawling, complaining that he would hurt himself if he played with the  toys. The little optimist on the other hand was furiously digging in the manure. When his mother asked what he was doing, the boy joyfully exclaimed, ”With all this manure, there must be a pony around somewhere.”
“All things work together for good, when there is good will”- James Alberione

Honesty is still the best policy

True honesty takes into account the claims of God as well as those of man, it renders to God the things that are God’s as well as to man the things that are man’s- C. Simmons
Honesty is an attitude of accepting the reality as it is. It demands the acceptance of one’s own goodness as simultaneously God’s gift and one’s own responsibility. Honesty appreciates  the  value and ability of others. It accepts others for their own value and is willing to contribute to the growth and development of those with whom one lives.
Doing the right thing doesn’t come naturally to any of us. As America’s first President, George Washington said, “Few men have virtue enough to withstand the highest bidder”. Yet that is what we must do to develop the kind of character that will sustain us. Moliere commented “Men are alike in their promises. It is only in their  deeds they differ. The difference in their deeds is simple: People of character do what is right regardless of the situation”. If you do the right thing and keep doing it even if it doesn’t help you move ahead with your talent in the short  term, it will protect you and serve you in the long term. Character builds- and it builds you. Or as Dr. Dale Bronner, a board member of a non- profit cation EQUIP puts it,” Honesty is not something you do, honesty is who you are”.
Once a general manager wanted to test his people, about their values of life. He announced that  in  their seminar folder, there was a PVC pouch and in it a seed and that they need to plant it in a pot and look after it well. He would hold a competition at the next year’s seminar and the best plants would be awarded suitably. A year passed quickly. And next year in a big hall, a great scene! There were hundreds of pots and great variety of plants-all except one. In this one pot was soil but no plant! The owner of the pot was standing quietly and seemingly ashamed of himself.
The general manager called him on the stage. He asked him what happened and he told him the truth. He planted the seed, which he was given and did what was to be done- but nothing happened. The general manager declared him the winner! Everyone was shocked. “Gentlemen! The seeds I gave you were boiled seeds. You planted them and nothing happened! You acted smartly and used some other seeds. This man was honest to his work and therefore, he did not cheat me or himself”.

Silence

The practice of silence is more soothing and healing than most medicines. Pascal, the great scientist, said, “After observing humankind over a long period of years, I came to the conclusion that one of man’s greatest troubles is his inability to be still”. In the silence of our hearts, God speaks and from the fullness of our hearts we speak. There are three kinds of silence. Silence from words is good, because inordinate speaking tends to evil. Silence or rest from desires and passions is still better, because it promotes quietness of spirit. But the best of all is silence from unnecessary and wandering thoughts, because that is essential to internal recollection; and because it lays a foundation for a proper reputation and for silence in other respects. Silence is at the root of our union with God and with one another.
When Thomas Alva Edison received an offer from the Western Union Company for the ticker he had invented, he was undecided what price to ask and requested for a couple of days time to think about it. During that time Edison and his wife talked it over thoroughly, and Mrs. Edison suggested that he ask for eight lakhs. Edison thought it an exorbitant figure, but at the appointed time he returned to the Office prepared to ask for that amount.  “Well, now, Mr. Edison, the Official said after  he had greeted him. How much do you want? Edison tried to say eight lakhs, but the words stuck in his mouth. He hesitated and stood speechless for quite some time. The official waited restlessly for a while  and  then impatiently said to Edison,” How about forty five lakhs?”. Clearly it was Edison who benefited from that SILENCE. The Western Union Company lost, because its representative lacked the control to listen to silence.
We tend to say what we want to say without waiting patiently and listening to the person we are dealing with. Listening in silence takes some control. Many of us simply cannot stand being quiet, waiting patiently, and  tolerating the silence long enough for the results that will inevitably take place.

Be Trustworthy

‘Trust is a treasured item in relationship. Once it is tarnished,
it is hard  to  restore it, to  its original  flow’. –  William Arthur Ward
Trust is the single most important factor in building personal and professional relationships. Warren Bennie calls trust “ the emotional glue that binds followers and leaders together”. Trust implies accountability, predictability and reliability. Trust must be built day by day. It calls for consistency.  More than anything else, followers want to  believe  in and trust their leaders. People first must believe in you before they will follow your leadership. One of the ways to  become a person whom leaders trust is to  tell them the truth. Good leaders want the truth-even if it hurts. Developing trust is like constructing a building. It takes time, and it must be done one piece at a time. When two people trust each other completely, the relationship can grow to  a  level of friendship that is as rewarding as anything in life.
To  be trusted is a greater compliment than to  be loved. People whom we trust tend to  become trustworthy. A man’s trust in God diminishes in direct proportion to  the growth of his power over people. D.L.Moody says “Trust in yourself and your are doomed to  disappointment; trust in your friends and they will die and leave you; trust in money and you may have it taken from you; trust in reputation and some slanderous tongue may blast it; but trust in God, and you are never to  be confounded in time and eternity.
A little girl and her father were crossing a flimsy, weak bridge. The father was kind and  concerned, said to  his little daughter,” Sweetheart, please hold on to  my hands so that you don’t fall in to  the river”. The girl replied, “No, Daddy, you hold my hand! “What is the difference”? asked the puzzled father. “There is a big difference, Daddy, “replied the little girl. “If I hold your hand and  something happens to  me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go”.

Celebrate Life

‘Life is not about waiting for  the  storms to  pass
It is about learning how to  dance  in the rain’
Life is a precious gift from God which is to  be  celebrated. To celebrate  life is to  live your life being mindful of every moment. It means to accept yourself as you are and embrace joyfully all that life offers you. It means to thank  God for each and every moment in your life. Celebrating your life is a daily experience, and not an occasional big event. You celebrate your life as you  live   and your experience becomes another occasion to celebrate. The key to  celebration  is not what you are feeling  but rather what you are experiencing in solidarity with others.
Life is too important to be wasted on worries and trifles. Meditation and relaxation  on  a daily basis will help you to remain calm and face life with equanimity. Count your blessings not your troubles. Live in the present moment, smile often, exercise daily. Dress as becomingly as possible. Count most enjoyable moments of your life. Pray regularly, help others. Prioritise to  do  interesting and important things. Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain, laughter and tears drops, pleasure or pain, high tides and low tides, losses and gains. Life is too short to simply exist. You are given the chance to live the best life possible. Life is a daily choice. The choice to live  consciously and fully is what makes your life meaningful and worthwhile.
Can you think of yourself as a painter and your Life as a blank canvas? Take the biggest brush you can imagine and dip it into the colour of your choice. Be generous with your colour and apply it on the blank canvas. Paint with joy, Create, new piece of art. This is just your life can be-joyful, colourful and vivid! Just the way you want it to  be! You have to  believe,  it is possible. And you have to  believe you have the choice to  make it so. The realisation of your dream depends on how badly you desire it and how you’re willing to  work toward it.
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the  more there is in life to  celebrate.

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm has a great cloak which can conceal lame talents, dwarfed ambitions, and mangy personalities. It has a sparkle like sunlight on rippling waters and can cause dedicated failures to  be  delightful. You can buy a man’s time. You can buy a man’s physical presence at a given place. You can even buy a measured number of skilled muscular actions per hour per day. But you cannot buy enthusiasm, you cannot buy initiative, you cannot buy loyalty. You cannot buy the devotion of a heart, mind and soul; you have to  earn  these things (Ed  Liden).
Enthusiasm finds opportunities, and energy makes the most of them. The noblest definition for enthusiasm is by Greeks, meaning ”God in us.” There is no substitute for enthusiasm. When the members of a team are enthusiastic, the whole team becomes highly energised. And that energy produces power. Industrialist Charles Schwab observed, “People can succeed at almost anything for which they have enthusiasm”.
You cannot win if you do not begin. To conquer fear, you have to feel the fear and take action. You’ve got to get yourself moving. Likewise, if you want to be enthusiastic, you need to  start acting that way. If you wait for the feeling before acting, you may never become enthusiastic. Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates remarked, ‘’What I do best is share my enthusiasm”. Obviously that ability has brought the people in  his  organisation immense success.
A good way to  fire up your own furnace is to  do things with greater urgency. A second way to is to do more. And the third is to strive for excellence. Many decades ago, Charles Schwab, who was earning a salary of a million dollars a year, was asked if he was paid such a high salary of his exceptional ability to produce steel. Charles Schwab replied, ‘I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among the men is the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best is in a man is by appreciation and encouragement”.
The worst bankrupt is the person who has lost enthusiasm. Carefully managed enthusiasm is a most splendid business resource that can inspire dedication, drive, originality and above all, results. What is more, enthusiasm is highly contagious and can bring out the health, happiness and success in everyone.

Instil Hope to Empower

“The word which  God  has written on the brow of every man is hope.” Victor  Hugo
A  reporter  asked Prime minister Winston Churchill, who led Britain during the dark moments of the  Second  World War, what was the greatest weapon his country possessed against Nazi regime of Hitler. Without pausing for even a moment Churchill said, ”It was what England’s greatest weapon has  always been – hope”. Hope is one of the most powerful and energizing word in the English language. It is something that gives us power to  keep  going in the toughest of times. And its power energises us with excitement and anticipation as we look forward toward the future. It’s been said that a person can live forty days without food, four days without water, four  minutes without air but only four seconds without hope.
When someone praises you, doesn’t your energy level go up?  And when you are criticised, does not  that  comment drag you down?  Words have great power. Helping another person to win is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Recognition is greatly appreciated by everyone, not just people in business and industry. Even a little bit of recognition can go  an  incredibly long way in a person’s life. Everyone is hungry for appreciation and recognition. As you interact with people, walk slowly through the crowd.
Remember people’s names and take time to  show  that you care. Make other people  a priority in your life over everything, including your agenda and schedule. It will make you a person of significant influence in their lives. Empowerment makes people more confident, energetic and productive. As you empower  others , you will find that most aspects of your life will change for the better. Empowering others can free you personally to  have  more time for the important things in your life, increase your influence with others and make a positive impact in the lives of the people you empower.
HOPE   is wishing something will happen; FAITH is believing  something will happen; COURAGE  is making something happen.

How Do We Recognise Success?

“ Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy goal”   Earl Nightingale
For most people, success is the maddening chase toward a better way of life or more of something – more fame, power, recognition, money or material stuff. For some, it is the understanding of a loving partner, the love of their child, or the people that they can count on when the life throws them a curve. Success is  a  journey, not a destination. After we reach one goal, we go to  the next and  the next. It is an experience; outside forces cannot make one feel successful. Success and happiness goes hand in hand. Success is getting what you want and happiness is wanting what you get. True success is measured by the feeling of knowing you have done a job well and have achieved your objective.
Success is not more material wealth, but peace, happiness, contentment and  love. Real success is not to be sought after in the outer world, but discovered in your inner world. What matters is people, what lasts is love. It is kindness shared, support given and received, listening, giving and caring. The success of life lies in keep moving forward even if it is to  make baby steps.
Success is all about giving your best in whatever you do. Think of Thomas Edison who is reputed to  have  found 10,000 ways how not to  make a light bulb before he succeeded in making one. His success was built upon that knowledge gained from the enthusiastic attempts he made earlier. “It is better to have  tried and failed, than never to have failed at all”, reminds Dave Faber. The key to success is to give a try with confidence, no matter what happens. Every sincere attempt you make determines your success level because success is a matter of the mind. Therefore, be on the track of success by giving your best in every try. All that is necessary to  succeed  is to  start and then do the best of which you are capable.
A poet said, “The woods would be very silent if the only birds who sang there were the birds who sang the best”. Nothing will happen until you take the first step.

Understanding People

The ability to understand people is one of the greatest assets anyone can ever have.  Understanding people certainly impacts your ability to communicate  with others. David Burns, a medical doctor and a Professor of psychiatry observed,” The biggest mistakes you can make in trying to  talk convincingly is to put your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. What most people really want is to be listened to, respected, and understood. Knowing  what  people need and want is the key to understanding them. And if you understand them, you can influence them and impact their lives in a positive way. To influence, you have to love people before you try to  lead them. Once you understand people and believe in them, they really can become somebody. What you give to  one  person overflows into the lives of all the  people that person impacts. The nature of influence is to  multiply.
Two brothers worked together on the family farm. One was married and had a large family. The other was single. At the day’s end, the brothers shared everything equally, produce and profit. Then one day the single brother said to  himself. ‘It’s  not  right that we should share equally. I am alone and my needs are simple.’ So each night he took a sack of grain from his bin and crept across the field between their houses, dumping it into his brother’s bin. Meanwhile the married brother said to  himself, ‘It’s not right that we should share  everything equally. After all, I’m married and I have my wife and my children to  look  after me for years to  come. My brother has no one, and no one to  take  care of his future.’ So each night he took a sack of grain and dumped it into his single brother’s bin. Both men were puzzled for years because their supply of grain never dwindled. Then one dark night the two brothers bumped into each other. Slowly it dawned on them what was happening. They dropped their sacks and embraced one another.

True education – a powerful weapon

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”.     Nelson Mandela
Education is the knowledge of how to use the whole of oneself. An educated man knows how to make a tool of every faculty, how to  open it, how to keep it sharp, and how to  apply it for all practical purposes. Education is the harmonious development of all our faculties. It begins in the nursery and goes on at school but does not end there. It continues through life, whether we will or not. The essence of all education is self discovery and self control. A man is educated when he has accustomed himself to using his freedom well.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat one. If you teach a man to fish, he will eat for the rest of his life. If you are thinking a year ahead, sow seed. If you are thinking ten years ahead, plant a tree. If you are thinking one hundred years ahead, educate the people. By sowing the seed, you will harvest once. By planting a tree, you will harvest tenfold. By educating the people you will harvest hundredfold.
Thomas and Nancy Lincoln lived in a one-room log cabin in Kentucky’s wilderness. Mr. Lincoln was a hunter, but an extremely poor man. In the cabin an unpromising place grew up Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest men of all times. His mother was one of the pioneers who could read and write. She read to Abraham from the one book in their home, the Bible, in the light of the fire as they could not afford candles. She taught her children to read and spell. There, Lincoln began the training of his mind and heart that made him the outstanding man that he became.
Today, all over the world, schools and educational institutions of higher learning dot Mother Earth. These institutions are considered as the parameters of learning and education. But without a doubt the best teacher is Mother and the best educational institution is the Home – when both the Mother and the Home are what they should be.

The need to work

Hard work is the yeast that raises the dough.
The most wonderful medicine, the capsule which is least expensive, the solution for most of our illness is the commonplace thing we know – work. When our mind and body are involved in creative activity, they positively gift us with good health, mental strength, higher productivity and inner peace; they free us from tension, worry, anxiety, negativity and depression. Creation is the work of God. The spirituality of work has its basis in the creative work of God. All work, whether manual or intellectual is inevitably valuable and  equally  good in the sight of God. What is more important is not the kind of work we do, but the love and commitment with which we do the work. God gives us wheat, but we must bake the bread. He gives us cotton, but we must convert it into clothing. He gives us trees, but we must build our homes. He provides the raw materials and expects us to  make the finished products with them.
Labour, even  the most humble and the most obscure, if is well done, tends to  beautify or embellish the world. St. Benedict  wanted  his monks to  apply themselves to  manual labour. He divided the day between prayer, study and labour and giving four hours to  labour. He wrote  in  his Rule: “They will be true monks if they live by the labour of their own hands”. If you tend to  be a clock-watcher who never works beyond quitting time no matter what, then you  need to  change your habits. Make your work a game. Nothing feeds tenacity like our natural competitive nature. Try  to  harness  that by making your work a game.
Once a cart man was going with a cart loaded with goods. On the way his cart wheel plunged in wet mud. He started beating the bullocks to  get them to  pull the cart out of the slush, but the bullocks could not budge as the cart was rather heavily loaded. So he knelt down and started praying to  God  for strength. On seeing this, God was angry. He appeared in front of the cart man and said, ”Hey, get up you lazy man:  It is not my job to  pull out a cart- wheel from slush. You just get up and push. It will come out. And you ask me for strength to do your work, don’t ever ask me to  do your work”.

Learn To Listen

“The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people.” Woodrow Wilson
The first step in teach ability is learning to listen. American writer and philosopher Henry David Thoreau wrote, “It takes two to speak the truth – one to speak and one to hear.” Being a good listener helps us to know people better, to learn what they have learned, and to show them that we value them as individuals. Listening shows respect, builds relationships, increases knowledge, generates new ideas and builds loyalty. Herb Cohen, often called the world’s best negotiator, says, “Effective listening requires more than hearing the words transmitted, it demands that you find meaning and understanding in what is being said. After all meanings are not in words, but in people”. To listen with your heart, your listening has to be active.
Abraham Lincoln was one of the most teachable presidents. He was always an avid listener, and asked nearly everyone he met to send him their ideas and opinions. As the old saying goes, “There’s a reason you have one mouth and two ears”. Listen to others, remain humble, and you will begin to learn things everyday that can help you to expand your talent.
The world-renowned Opera star, Madame Ernestine Schmann-Heink went through a very traumatic experience. Early in her career, her husband deserted her. She found herself almost penniless with four children to look after. She decided to kill herself and the children under a running train. Late one night she sat on the railway track with her children clutched tightly her arms, waiting for the Express Train to run them down. Suddenly her little daughter called out: “Mummy, I love you, please let us go home”. This tiny voice brought her to her senses. She abandoned her desperate plan and decided to give life another shot. It did not take her long to rise to fame and be acclaimed as one of the greatest singers of all time. Yes God’s voice reaches us in very different ways from those we may not imagine. If only we could spend time in silent reflection each day listening  to His voice speaking to us through peoples and events, what a difference it would make.

The Need to Forgive

“To err is human, to forgive is divine.” Alexander Pope
Forgiveness is a way of living. It is developing a readiness to forgive: by pardoning others for the little everyday hurts and annoyance; by pardoning ourselves of small things too. Living this way prepares us to handle the more important injuries and blunders. Forgiveness is a decision. It is not a feeling.  A decision to forgive is the first step. What happens then depends upon the individual. Forgiveness is taking a risk.  It makes me vulnerable. People can begin to deepen relationships if they forgive each other. Forgiveness is accepting an apology. It is graciously to respect the effort of reconciliation, when the hurt is deep and when it is not.
Life can be a jungle. In the work place others might blame us for incompetence and can show us a condescending icy shoulder. At times words or actions may have cut deeper than we ever knew was possible. The reason why we should forgive our enemies is not because we think that someone else is deserving of our favour, but because our lives are driven by the One Who Created us. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. Pause and ponder, think before you act. Forgive and Forget .If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
True forgiveness is hard to extend because it demands that people let go of something they value- not a piece of jewellery, but pride, a sense of justice as understood by the person concerned, or desire for revenge. We have all heard the famous ‘defence’: I   have forgiven but to forget is not easy. On February 25, 1995, Samandar Singh brutally murdered Sr. Rani Maria. He was sentenced to life imprisonment. Sr. Selvi Paul, the sister of the murdered nun, tied Rakhee on his hand and forgave him in 2002. The same was done by her brother and mother in 2003. True example of genuine Christian forgiveness moved the heart of Samnadr Singh and he became a transformed person.
When asked ‘What is forgiveness?’  a little girl gave this lovely reply, “It’s the sweet scent that a flower gives when it is being crushed.”

Instill Motivation

“Always bear in mind that your resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing.”  Abraham Lincoln
Motivation helps people to know what they should do. Everybody needs motivation from time to time. Motivation makes it possible to accomplish what you should accomplish. Vince Lombardi, was a feared disciplinarian and a great motivator. One day he chewed out a player who had missed several blocking assignments. After practice, Lombardi stormed into the locker room and saw that the player, Kramer was sitting at his locker, head down, dejected. Lombardi mussed his hair, patted him on the shoulder, and said, “One of these days, you’re going to be the best guard in the team. Lombardi’s encouragement had a tremendous impact on my life.” Kramer said. And he did become the number one player in the team. There are two ways you can get others to do what you want: you can compel them or persuade them. Compulsion is the method of slavery; persuasion is the method of free people. Persuading requires an understanding of what makes people tick and what motivates them, that is, a knowledge of human nature.
Nothing can motivate a person like adversity or failure. Olympic driver Pat Mc Cormick said, “Failure is one of the greatest motivators and  failures are milestones on the success journey.” As Thomas Edison said as his laboratory burned to the ground “Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start again fresh.” No one ever accomplishes anything without a goal. Goal setting is the strongest force for self motivation.
Have you ever fiddled with the dials of a radio on the shortwave band, and come upon Morse code signals that sound like: ti, ti, ti, tititi ……  They are actually saying something —- if you know the code. They have a message for those who can read the code. This sort of coded message is all around us daily. We call it Inspiration. God has a way of sending us signals thorough persons, places and things to motivate us. How do I respond to these signals?

Courage to face life

”Courage is the basic virtue for everyone so long as he continues to grow, to move ahead.”  Rollo May
Fear limits a leader: Roman historian Tacticus wrote, “The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise.”  But courage has the opposite effect. It opens doors, and that’s one of its most beautiful benefits. Perhaps that is why British Theologian John Henry Newman said, “Fear not that your life will come to an end but that it will never have a beginning.” Courage not only gives you a good beginning, but it also provides a better future.
Courage is finding the inner strength and bravery required when confronting danger, difficulty or opposition. Courage is the energy current behind all great actions and the spark that ignites the initial steps of growth. It is the intangible force that propels you forward on your journey. What inspires you to action? For some it is a belief in a higher power, for some it can be an inspiring music and for others perhaps great literature or spiritual passages. Regardless of what your connection is to the divine source, for you will need to call upon it in those moments when you require courage.
There is a story related to the Old Testament tradition concerning the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt. God has promised them liberation and freedom. Moses raises his arms and voice in prayer for God to lead his people to safety. Indeed, nothing happens until the first person actually steps in to the water and shows, through that simple act, that he has faith in God’s promise of salvation. When that first step of courage is taken, the sea parts, and the people cross over into freedom and liberation. Courage consists not in blindly overlooking danger, but in seeing and conquering it. Let the great personalities inspire us to have courage to face life as it comes.

Value of Time

“Until you value yourself, you don’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it”.  M. Scott Peck
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. Start each morning determined to make the most of the day. Make a written plan for each day. This is of primary importance. You will accomplish much more by making a plan in writing and following it out fully and promptly. Know what you really want. A good plan is to express your desires in concrete form. Get a right sense of life’s values. Time is valuable. Learn to think about essential things first, so that useless trifles will not so easily consume your time. Get in to the habit of living according to the plan. Hurry, Worry and anxiety defeat your purpose. Eliminate from your life, as far as possible, all undue nervous strain, tension and excitements and you will accumulate great resources of mental and physical vitality.
Instead of thinking about what you do and what you buy in terms of money, think about them in terms of time. Think about it. What is worth spending your life on?
“If you have a song to sing, sing it now. If you have hard work to do, do it now. If you have kind words to say, say it now. If you have smile to show, show it now. If you love someone, say it now
Loose an hour in the morning, and you will be all day hunting for it.”
Richard Whately

What Is Charity?

“Charity is a virtue of the heart and not the hand. Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving,  lies the expression of my aliveness.”
                                                                                                            Erich Fromm
Every good act is charity. Your smiling in your brother’s face, is charity; an exhortation of your fellow-man to virtuous deeds, is equal to alms-giving; your putting a wanderer in the right road, is charity; your giving water to the thirsty, is charity. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. The greatest gift we can give to others are not material things but gifts of ourselves. The great gifts are those of love, of inspiration, of kindness, of encouragement, of forgiveness, of ideas and ideals.
The rabbis taught: In three things are deeds of love greater than charity.
Charity is done at the mere sacrifices of money, deeds of love are performed with one’s money and one’s person.
Give a smile to everyone you meet
Give happiness and you will be made happy.
A little girl came home from a neighbour’s house where her friend had died.
“Why did you go to that house?  questioned her father.
“To comfort her mother”, replied the child.
“What could you do to comfort her”?
“I climbed into her lap and cried with her”, answered the child.
How often have I taken steps to comfort someone in pain or in sorrow?

Relentless Faith

 “Faith is the only key to the universe. The final meaning of human existence, and the answers to the questions on which all our happenings depends cannot be found in any other way.” (Thomas Merton)
Faith will turn any course, light any path, relieve any distress, brings joy out of sorrows, peace out of strife, friendship out of enmity, heaven out of hell. Faith throws a new light on everything, manifests god’s design for man’s total vocation, and thus directs the mind to solutions which are fully human. Every believer is God’s miracle. Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.
Calamities struck the life of Monisha one after the other: death of her dad, illness of her mom, irresponsible life of her brother, these shattered her. She could not concentrate on her studies. Every time she opened her book, these scenes came one after the other as in a film. Monisha, ever active and vibrant became dull and depressed. She stopped going to church and saying prayers.
One day she was brought to my office. She sat in my room, sad and downcast.  I was very attentive to every gesture she made and every word she uttered. Slowly, I helped her to pour out her heart. One another day she shouted why at all God created me? Why God took my dad away? I had no readymade answer but I was very much with her in her pain and loss but I could helped her to express all the good things she enjoyed and experienced. All on sudden her attention turned to a scenery in my room with the caption, ‘Faith in God can move the mountains.’ “Sister, what does it mean?” She asked. I told her that life is a mixture of joys and sorrows, ups and downs. The God who created you and me and the whole of the universe is in control of everything and we just have to surrender our lives to him and everything will be fine. Often human love is conditional even our parental love but God’s love is unconditional. He is your beloved Daddy always. Her face brightened up and she said, “I believe in that loving Daddy.”
Holding on to the hand of God is a bold act of faith. Faith in God makes a person undaunted, unafraid, undivided and unflappable. As the psalmist exhorts: “Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm – 37:7)

Compliment People in Public

Physician George Adams found encouragement to be so vital to a person’s existence that he called it “Oxygen of the Soul”
The most fundamental and straight forward way of winning with people is to give them a compliment- a sincere and meaningful word of appreciation. If you want to make others feel like a million bucks, you’ve got to master this elementary skill. It is essential that we learn to compliment people in public which will instantly have a positive impact. When you compliment a person’s attitude, you reinforce it and make it more consistent. Like the repetition of weightlifting regimen, routine compliments build up people’s qualities and strengthen their personalities.
As former Secretary of defence and World Bank President Robert McNamara said,” Brains are like hearts, they go where they are appreciated”. Remember people’s names and take time to show them your care. If you want to add value to people, you have to value them first. Believe in the best in others, and you will bring out their best.
As commander of a 10 billion warship and a crew of 310, Mike Abrashoff used grassroots leadership to increase retention rates from 28 percent to 100 percent, reduce operating expenditures, and improve readiness. How did he do it?  Among other things, he placed supreme importance on public compliments.
“The commanding officer of a ship is authorised to hand out 15 medals a year”, he wrote. “I wanted to err on the side of excess, so I passed out 115”. While awarding the medal, Abrashoff also delivered a short speech describing how much we cherished the recipient’s friendship, camaraderie, and hard work.
Whenever you have the opportunity to publicly praise another person, don’t let it slip by. You can create these opportunities, as Captain Abrashoff did, but you can also find countless opportunities if you look for them.

The Value of Team Work

A Chinese proverb states, “Behind an able man there are always other able men”.
The truth is that team work is at the heart of great achievement. If you want to reach your potential or strive for the seemingly impossible, you need to become a team player. It may be a cliché’, but it is nonetheless true: Individuals play the game but teams win championships. If you lead a team, then you must convince your teammates to sacrifice for the good of the group. The first quality of a relational leader is the ability to understand how people think and feel. As you work with others, recognise that all people, whether leaders or followers, have something in common. cing these truths a leader must still be able to treat people as individuals. The ability to look at each person, understand and connect with him is a major factor in relational success
The leader need to figure out which button to push with each individual person on his team. One person will respond well to being challenged; another will want to be nurtured, another will need frequent follow-up. One of the best way to inspire others and make them feel good is to show them who they could be. Years ago, a manager of the New York Yankees wanted rookie players to know what a privilege it was to play for the team. He used to tell, “Boys, it’s an honour just to put on the  New York pinstripes. So when you put them on, play like world champions. Play like Yankees. Play proud.” When you give someone a reputation to uphold, you give him something good to shoot for. It’s putting something that was beyond his reach but within his grasp.  Why is that important? Because people will go farther than they thought they could when someone they respect tells them they can.
A well known organist was performing a concert on the huge, antique organ in the local church. The bellows were hand-pumped by a boy who was behind a screen, unseen by the audience. The audience was thrilled by the organist ability at the keyboard of the old instrument. After taking his ovation, the musician walked triumphantly in to a side passageway. As he passed the boy he heard him say,” We played well as a team, didn’t we sir?”
The organist haughtily replied,” And what do you mean, ‘we’?
After the intermission, the organist returned to his seat at the impressive five-keyboard and began to play. But nothing happened; not a sound was heard. Then the organist heard a youthful voice whisper from behind the screen, ‘Say, mister, now do you know what ‘we’ means?”

Attitude of Gratitude Gratitude for our existence should be as regular as our heartbeat

Gratitude is the memory of the heart. It means that we do not take for granted things that are done for us but appreciate them and in one way or another make a return for them. It is said that a grateful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. Gratitude is like the sunshine, we can do without it, but when present, it brings warmth and throws light on the whole scene of life. The more one is able to return an act of kindness, it enhances the nobility of the person. If we develop right attitude we will be able to see everything in the right perspective and accept it as a blessing.
      We are dependent on others till we say goodbye to this world. With gratitude in our hearts, life becomes richer and more joyful. Many of our troubles could be eliminated if we could focus more on the blessings received and be grateful to God. As the culture of saying “thanks” is slowly vanishing in our day to day humdrum of life, let us foster it consciously in our own personal lives.
Thanksgiving is gratitude in action. An attitude of Gratitude brings healing and wholeness. We have heard of persons suffering from terminal illness being healed because of their positive attitude and spirit of thankfulness to the Lord. Besides thanking God for all the favours received, we need to be grateful to our fellow human beings for all the favours and services received and reciprocated.  More than ever we need to develop a sense of gratitude to our Mother Earth for providing for all our needs. The greatest challenge ahead of us is to protect and sustain the scarce resources for the future generation. “The finest test of character is seen in the amount and the power of gratitude we have.”  M.H.Gates.

Conscientious Living

“Conscience is the root of all true courage; if a man would be brave let him obey his conscience,”  so said J E Clarke. Conscience is man’s most secret core and highly sacred sanctuary. There, he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths. It is a voice, ever calling him to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil and like a compass, giving him direction. One of the greatest teachers of all time, Pythagoras, demanded that every night his pupils examine themselves on their progress that day. They were to ask themselves these questions: How did I succeed in my studies today? Could I have learned more? Could I have studied better? Is there something I neglected?  To progress in studies, if I need to examine this much, how much more have I to do to live a conscientious life?  Do I have a Check list?
I recall an incident that took place in one of the villages in Tamil Nadu, a few months back. A man from our neighbouring village killed his friend out of spite and jealousy as his friend became very influential and his son got a very good job in U.S. After committing this wicked act, he started doing charitable works hoping to calm his conscience. This sort of savage treatment is common. I myself do not know how often do I silence my Conscience?
‘To live with no conscience is to live like a beast; to live with good conscience, a perpetual feast.’
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