Ask For Forgiveness
By Dr. Archana Bharat on 03-10-2014
Truthfully saying that you are sorry and asking for forgiveness is a difficult task. Pride gets in the way most of the time. It becomes the stumbling block. When you get angry with someone and a confrontation leads to the digging up of past problems and an exchange of harsh words, both of you will feel hurt and you may end up not talking to each other for a while. Sometimes you really do not intend to say hurtful words, nor do you want to even utter those words because they can be meaningless but they just come out in the heat of the argument.
Asking for forgiveness releases a person from the agony of being hurt and burdened. It does not really matter who started the argument. The main thing is that someone should be brave enough to make the first approach and ask for forgiveness. If someone else asks you for forgiveness, be generous enough to forgive. Think of an apology as a commitment to the relationship rather than an act of weakness. Acknowledge your actions without making excuses. Share your feelings about what happened but avoid blaming, exaggerating or saying empty words. Listen patiently to the other person’s response without getting defensive. Be honest and only apologize for things you truly feel responsible for. Don’t apologize just to make an unpleasant situation go away.
Practice what you are going to say until you are comfortable to say the words. You do not want to start your apology only to say the wrong things and start another argument. Take responsibility for your part, how you hurt the other person rather than give any attention to how they hurt you. Be vulnerable and reveal your own sadness or remorse for causing them pain. This fosters emotional healing. Say it in writing if a personal confrontation is scary. Offer to make amends if appropriate. Do not be discouraged if you aren't completely forgiven the moment you apologize and give the other person some time to sort out his or her feelings. In the meantime, seek every opportunity to do good to that person even if he is stubborn.
There is no need for an emotional outburst. Sincerely ask for forgiveness when the other person has had time to calm down and is willing to listen. Strive to avoid the causes that brought about the problems.
Asking for forgiveness is a sign of strength. It should not be considered a weakness. There is a famous saying – “To err is human, to forgive divine”. It helps repair relationships, strengthens family bonds and relieves your heart and mind.
About The Author
Archana Bharat MA, MPhil, PhD (University Gold Medalist) is an avid reader and writer, who is greatly influenced by the philosophy of Sant Kabir. Together with her husband Shri Bharat Bhushan she is contributing greatly to Noida unit of Kabir Peace Mission.