By Swami Dr Snehananda Jyoti on 14-07-2016

Here is a brief vignette related to an incident that took place about three weeks ago in June 20016. A young man from the USA found a future bride in India.  After visits and negotiations between the two families for about a year, the marriage was on the verge of taking place. Expensive preparations were already done. Then came the sudden shocking news that the marriage was all of a sudden cancelled on the part of the future bridegroom. The reason for the cancellation given was that the young man’s family got some compelling negative information from the future bride’s physician first cousin in the USA.  As a result two important brothers of the bridegroom’s father, who are reported to get the crucial information, are said to have declared that they would not attend the wedding if it were to take place. The reason for cancellation was passed on by a cousin of the girl’s father, whose sister is married to a brother  of the young man’s father.  There were very hurt feelings, false accusations, and betrayal of trust that involved many families. This is a real life soap opera. Nobody wants to talk further and get to the real truth. That is when I came into the picture as I was a friend of the young man’s family and a relative of the young woman’s family. As they want me to get to the root of things, I had to tell them that I would not visit them during my visit to the US if they would not talk about what happened. I conducted the inquiry in the manner of a clinical psychologist, that I am, doing a clinical investigation. Finally after spending several hours talking on the phone from India to four key persons in the US, I got the truth.  The conversation that is supposed to be the basis of the marriage cancellation between the two parties did not in fact take place.  
The following then are the signs of a searcher for truth: He or she gets acquainted with all available facts before coming to important conclusions or decisions. That person is not prejudiced or influenced by prior information or who said what in the process of acquiring data. The conclusion is drawn only after all the information has been gathered. All the relevant information is carefully sifted through rigorously and critically.  The conclusion is communicated fearlessly with impartiality and unconcerned about the consequences after communicating it. This person does not engage in careless conversations, and would not talk about things that he or she does not know first hand. He or she will verify and find out the source of the information before it is used.
Recently I met a young lady who stated she is going to do a Ph. D. in communication. I told her there is greatly more miscommunication than communication in the world. That is why conflict resolution is a very difficult task. There is a great deal of gossip and loose conversations all over. This is pastime and entertainment for a lot of people. Remarkably, persons do not pay enough attention to what is said. They filter the information through the screens they have acquired through their non-scrutinized conditioning. They take things out of context, and do not find out the real intent of the person who told them. They interpret the motive of the person communicating. Nobody can get into the mind of someone and know for sure what is going on. The news and advertising media are well-known for false and misleading information. Seekers after truth need to be concerned about the real facts of the matter at hand. In other words, they are empathic and uncompromising votaries of truth. They also practice the Golden Rule: “Do to others what you want others to do to you”.

About The Author

Swami Dr Snehananda Jyoti

Dr. John K Thekkedam (Swami Snehananda Jyoti) spent most of his life as a clinical psychologist in USA. He began his public life as a Jesuit priest. Quite attracted in distinct philosophies, he left the society and founded 'East West Awakening'.