Tonic for the Spirit

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God Helps Those Who Help Themselves.

John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ”Listen God,” John said. ”I know I haven’t been perfect, but I really need to win the lottery. I don’t have any money. Please help me out.”

He left the church, a week went by, and he hadn’t won the lottery, so he walked into a synagogue. ”Come on, God,” he said. ”I really need this money. My mom needs surgery and I have bills to pay. Please let me win the lottery.”

He left the synagogue, a week went by, and he didn’t win the lottery. So, he went to a mosque and started to pray again. ”You’re starting to disappoint me, God,” he said. ”Give me a break! I’ve prayed and prayed. If you just let me win the lottery just this time, I’ll be a better person. I don’t have to win the jackpot, but just enough to get me out of debt. I’ll even give some to charity. Just let me win the lottery.”

John thought this did it, so he got up and walked outside. Just then the clouds opened up and a booming voice said, ”John, you give me a break; first, you go and buy a lottery ticket.”

Note: Not even God can help those who do not help themselves. The first step is yours to take, a necessary prerequisite.

By Kaimlet on 27-10-2017
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The Model

Once a man was waiting for a taxi, A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, “I do not have money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.” “I would have bought a cup of tea”, replied the beggar.
The man said, “Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea”. He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar told, “I don’t smoke as it is injurious to health.”
The man smiled and took a flask of whisky and told the beggar, “Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is Really good”.
The beggar refused by saying, “Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver”. The man smiled again. He told the beggar, “I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets.

If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone”. As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, “Sorry sir, I can’t come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit.”

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar’s face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, “Why do you want me to go to your house with you”.

**The man replied, “I want to show my wife how a man with no Bad habits looks like.” **

By Kaimlet on 01-10-2017
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Greed Destroys Happiness

Mr. Smith and the head teacher were standing near the playground, where the children were frolicking to their heart’s content. He asked the headmaster, “Why is it that everyone wants to be happy, but so few ever are?”

The teacher looked at the playground and answered, “Those children seem to be really happy.” “Why shouldn’t they be?” said Smith. “All they do is play. But what keeps the grownups from being happy like that?”

“The same thing that can keep children from being happy.” When he said that, he reached into his pocket, pulled out a handful of copper coins, and threw them among the playing children. Suddenly all laughter stopped. The children tumbled over one another, fought and argued, in collecting the coins,

Then the teacher said to Mr. Smith, “Well, what do you think ended their happiness?”
“The fighting,” answered Smith. “And what started the fighting?” “Greed.”
“There you have the answer to your question” said the teacher.
-Willi Hoffsuemmer

Comment: Greed is nothing but the uncontrolled desire to possess. Buddha would say, desire is the root cause of all evil. As new leaves sprout one after another on a thriving plant, desire sprouts up endlessly in the human heart. Everybody wants to find happiness. But their greed to possess the things that they think will make them happy, unfortunately, keeps happiness itself away.

By Kaimlet on 19-09-2017
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Pessimist / Optimist  

In a city suburb there were two little lads, one an optimist and the other a pessimist. Their friends joined together to lock them in two rooms – a room full of toys for the pessimist and a room full of manure from the farmyard for the optimist.

An hour later they went back to see how they were doing. First they looked into the room of the pessimist. He was sitting on the floor in the middle of all the toys crying, because there was no drum. They went across the corridor to the other room full of manure where the optimist was. He didn’t even hear them opening the door. His eyes were popping out with excitement and he had a little shovel. “What are you doing?” they asked. “Quiet!” he responded, “With all this manure there’s got to be a pony somewhere here.”

Comment: Your happiness, and for that matter even your unhappiness, does not depend on the volume of your possessions. Socrates, they say, visited the weekly market without fail, but never purchased any thing. He was all the time looking for all the things he could do without. Desire, according to Gautama Buddha, is the cause of all unhappiness.

By Kaimlet on 24-08-2017
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What Have You Done?

“I was hungry, and you formed a humanities club, and discussed my hunger.

I was imprisoned, and you crept of quietly to your chapel in the cellar and prayed for my release.

I was naked, and in your mind you debated the morality of my appearance.

I was sick, and you knelt and thanked God for your good health.

I was homeless, and you preached to me the spiritual shelter of the love of God.

I was lonely, and you left me alone to pray for me.

You seem so holy, so close to God:

But I am still very hungry, and lonely and cold.

So where have your prayers gone? What have they done?

What does it profit a man to go through his book of prayers, when the rest of the world is crying for help.

-Bob Rawland

By Kaimlet on 18-08-2017
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I know better

Many years ago, native Indian youths would go away in solitude on what is called a vision quest to prepare for manhood. One such youth hiked into a beautiful valley, green with trees and bright with flowers. There he fasted and prayed. But on the third day, as he looked up at the mountains, he noticed one tall rugged peak, capped with dazzling snow.

“I will test myself against that mountain,” he said to himself. He put on his buckskin shirt, threw his blanket over his shoulders and set off to climb the peak. When he reached the top, he gazed out from the rim of the world. He could see forever and his heart swelled with pride. Then he heard a rustle of leaves at his feet, and looking down, he saw a slithering snake. Before he could move, the snake spoke.

“I am about to die,” whispered the snake. “It is too cold for me up here; I’m freezing. There is no food and I am starving. Put me under your shirt where I will be warm and take me down to the valley.”

“No way,” said the youth. “I’m forewarned. I know your kind. You are a rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you will bite, and your bite will kill me.”

“No, not so,” said the snake. “I will treat you differently. If you do this for me, you will be special to me, and I will not harm you.”

The youth resisted a while, but this was a very persuasive snake with beautiful diamond markings. At last the youth tucked the snake under his buckskin shirt and carried it down to the valley. There he placed it gently on the grass. Suddenly the snake coiled, rattled and struck, biting the youth on the leg.

“But you promised….” Cried the youth.

“You were forewarned, you said, and you knew what I was when you picked me up,” said the snake and slithered away.

Comment: Forewarned should be forearmed. But the youth eventually succumbed to the persuasion and the beauty of the snake. When he picked up the snake, he must have said to himself, “may be other snakes, but not this one. I should know better.” That is exactly what happens to us when we succumb too. “I know better.”

By Kaimlet on 31-07-2017
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Anybody There?

One of the most valued employees of the Organization had been on sick leave one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, the boss dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. “Hello?”
“Is your daddy home?” he asked.
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
“May I talk with him?”
The child whispered, “No.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mummy there?”
“Yes.”
“May I talk with her?”
Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?”
“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?”
“Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A hello-copper” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the hello-copper.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: “ME”

Comment: We are capable of causing a hell of trouble or a world of worry and anxiety to others, especially to those who care for us; worse still, we could also be so callous and insensitive so as to enjoy it too.

By Kaimlet on 21-07-2017
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Don’t Touch Me!

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus sitting over there?” The waitress nodded “Yes,” so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, “Is that Jesus over there?” The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, “My treat.” The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches.  He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, “Hey there, sweet thing. How’s about gettin’ me a cold glass of Coke! “He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, “Is that God’s boy over there?” The waitress once more nodded, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, “On my bill.”

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out of the door. Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, “For your kindness, you are healed.” The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out of the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneck jumped up and yelled, “Don’t touch me…I’m drawin’ disability (pension).”

Comment: God and religion are all fine, as long they do not touch me, much less my way of life or my pocket.

By Kaimlet on 11-07-2017
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Limping Horse  

A nobleman’s prized racehorse began to limp for no apparent reason. Veterinarians who were called found nothing wrong with the leg – no fracture, no sprain, no soreness – and they were baffled. The nobleman finally consulted a sage, a man known for his wisdom.

“Has anything changed for the horse in the last few months?” he asked.

“I changed his trainer a few weeks ago,” said the nobleman.

“Does the horse get on well with his new trainer?”

“Very well! In fact, he’s devoted to him.”

“Does the trainer limp?”

“Uh… yes, he does.”

“The reason for the horse’s limp is clear,” said the sage. “He’s imitating his handler.” The nobleman put the horse in the charge of another trainer, and the horse soon stopped limping. 

We tend to imitate those whom we admire. The company we keep, good or bad, has great influence on us.

By Kaimlet on 23-06-2017